Motivate me. Please.

Hello friends,

Week 3 as a San Diego resident already! I almost can't believe it :) Some exciting updates to report: I signed the lease on my new 1 bedroom apartment last night in Pacific Beach!! It is 10 blocks from the beach and absolutely adorable. If they rented apartments like this in NYC, as a friend said...they'd be going for "a cool $3.5k a month." Not the case here ;) I also landed a job this week! I am so excited to start working at my new company in the New Year- details to come in a separate post. But my heart is happy to know that it sounds like a great group and will be a great learning experience/new personal challenge.

In other, more literary news, I do have some thoughts I would like to share. The idea of motivation has been on my mind quite a bit in recent weeks and I need to do a mental reorganization of sorts regarding the concept. What is it that motivates us? Such a vague and broad question, I know, but why is it so different for everyone? I have been reading a lot in my new book "Integrative Nutrition" (for the online courses I will be taking that begin in the New Year as well) that there is no 1 diet that everyone can abide by, lose weight on, and feel their best with. And the same seems to be true for personal motivation. For many, it is religion, knowing that we are living a "Christ-like" life and doing all that God wants us to. But what about another group, who maybe don't take direction from God. Some other forms of motivation can come in the form of competition- knowing that if we strive at one task, we will come out on top beating all others. For many others, it is simply doing what they believe to be the morally sound "right thing." And still for others, it is a strive towards personal perfection. Feeling fulfilled based on the inner knowledge of learning new ideas and applying them to improve ones life. And finally, there is the satisfaction of pleasing others. To some, knowing that they will make others happy can be one's sole motivation. I am sure there are many other forms of motivation; these are just the general types I gathered at the moment. SO my questions is, is there some sort of perfect combination? An equation that we can apply to life that says A + B will get us to C? I know we are all going to a different "C" (places) but there has got to be some commonalities that lead those truly content individuals towards personal success. I would also imagine that these forms of motivation would vastly differ between sexes; at least in the atmosphere I am in now. All of the men around me strive towards physical success and use some sort of masculine motivation to get them there that I am unable to relate to. Where as my goals are more mental and analytical ones accomplished through non-physical work. Trying to work this out...I think that motivation most likely comes from an emotional place. All of us want to feel happy and content, and so pleasing whom or whatever it is that takes for us to get us there...is inherently our motivation. How do we know what that is? Is life just the summation of experiences and at some point we finally have an "ah-ha!" moment realizing what got us there? I refuse to accept that theory mainly because it doesn't allow any room for cognitive growth along the way. At the moment- this is my story and I am sticking with it. Our motivations have to lead us to do what makes us happy...both in the world around us and within ourselves. In the end, being content is clearly more complicated then a laundry list of things, but rather a unique puzzle  that allows us to be pleased with who we are and what we have. After writing this post, I've decided my motivation is the life I already have. Focusing on the positive, already great things in our life we already have can become one's motivation for more greatest and happiness in the future :)
xoxo AA

Shine bright like a Diamond

Hello world! It has officially been 2 weeks since I became a West (best?) Coast dweller and I wanted to provide you all with a progress report. Progress report: I FREAKING LOVE IT. Sunshine, 70 degrees, and clear blue skies on a daily basis allows for a girl to easily get used to her surroundings. Oh and I finally live on the same coast as man! The best one I know :) I have started to become accustom to the slower more steady pace of life here as well. The best part of my day is not only being able to smell the sea air from the doorstep of the house, but being able to walk 3 blocks and spend time with my toes in the sand and my mind fixed on the sound of the waves crashing into the shore.  Another new sound here: helicopters and fighter jets...and a lot of them. I am staying on Coronado island until I find a little place of my own. Coronado island is home to 3 military bases- 1 of which is a major naval air base. Throughout the day the sound of fighter jets (some going at the speed of sound I am told) is constant. But the overwhelming amount of helicopters riding low over sea and sand is fascinating. Remember, we are 10 miles from the Mexican border- so the culture is already showing itself to be a bit different here. Another difference...I drive a car!! And actually, don't use it all too often (as beautiful and speedy as she is) because everyone gets around via bike here. Not just any bike folks, yes real beach cruisers, just like out of your favorite throw back episode of 90210. Riding around at night along the water is literally a dream come true. Besides all of these small, yet amazing cultural changes- there is 1 thing that I could not be more grateful for. And that is the accepting and open arms I have received from the community here. I say community, but can already tell that this group is more like a family. I of course wanted to share my observations of this group thus far because I seemed to have jumped right in feet 1st. It is funny to me how within this group, everyone seems to have their assigned roles and just knows what to do, automatically, without direction or a request. We all gather for meals, if a few are down for the count, the others are there to cook, clean, make them laugh, or just BE there. Fun seems to be the only thing that everyone has together and I am shocked at the level of support and respect each individual has for one another. I am so excited to be apart of this community and hope that I am able to give it as much as it has already given :) Cooking is one of the only means of support I know how to provide (besides of course a little motherly love) so you may start seeing some of the new recipes I experiment with here. When cooking for so many hungry people, a girl has to learn how to get creative on a budget! Until then...I will keep you abreast of my new cultural happenings. Missing you all on the east coast; I hope you are staying bundled up and warm- I'm headed out to the beach now (ok, I know that was rude ;))

xoxo

- AA

The BIG Day

Folks- it’s time….and damn it feels so good. I wrote this post Friday on the plane in route to my new home: San Diego!! Yes you heard right- girl in the big city is headed west- to become a Cali chica. To start, I could not be more excited, grateful, overwhelmed with joy and purely just blissful for the opportunity to be with the man I love and have a fresh start in a new world. The past 6 months have been difficult to say the least- it goes without saying that others have certainly been through much more trying times in life (myself included)- but I would be lying if I didn’t say that this time in my life was one of the toughest yet. As I close that chapter and begin to open the next, it was worth every tear, moment of fear, angry conversation, or confused outlook because it delivered me to exactly where I belong. This place: in a calm paradise. What I know of my new land so far is that the sun shines almost constantly, the dial on the pace meter is turned down ever so slightly and that the Mexican food is better than maybe even the real thing 10 minutes over the border. I of course had to keep this big news a secret the entire time because today is when I finally put in my 2 weeks notice from my job in NYC. Over the past few months I have slowly told family and friends of my exciting news- this is a big decision I had made for my life and this is what my plan was going to be. It was refreshing to feel confident in my choice and to know that those who supported me did so with all the love in their hearts, and those that did not were simply unable to not because of me, but because of their own feelings and would come around eventually. As I step away from the big city and towards the beach I am walking slowly with a smile on my face and new hope in my heart. Will I miss the big place? Yes of course! Do I know that it will always be there for me if I need to come back (along with my unique New York family I will be blessed to have forever)? Yes of course…but I am confident that this once city slicker with Bahamian blood will soon settle into the west coast lifestyle. And that is why I would like to set a few goals here as I make my move over the next 2 weeks:

1. Be open minded
2. Stay positive; no matter what
3. Listen more, think less
4. Accept all, judge none
5. Use FaceTime more then text

I’d like to be realistic about what I want and imagine this post as a written “vision board” for this chapter in my life. And if there were a 5.5 on the list- it would be to consistently blog about my new adventures, new friends, new findings, and new lifestyle. To close this little bad boy up and keep my barn door open for the posts to come- I want to say thank you for an amazing 2.5 years NYC. Thank you to my stepmom who has continued to love and support me no matter what. Listening to every complaint, fear, anxiety, and crazy idea- and for getting me to work EVERY SINGLE morning with an upbeat phone call and advice wiser and more insightful than I will ever receive. I will miss our morning ritual desperately but know we will turn it into an afternoon ritual over video. A special thanks to my NYC family, I love you dearly and want to thank you for making me laugh until I almost peed, endless wine nights, ridiculous Jingle Jogs, boozy brunches, Dive75 candy/beer runs, church Sundays, and for supporting me through my 16 Handles fro-yo addiction. To my man in uniform- thank you for always loving and supporting me literally…no matter what. I have never felt so accepted and loved but 1 person and am so excited for us to finally live on the same coast and enjoy our lives together. I can’t wait to support you through this amazing journey and be side be side every step of the way. And finally, a special thanks to my roommate who made me stay out until 4 AM labor day evening of 2011- had it not been for that I would not be on a plane with my entire summer clothing collection in tote and man in uniform waiting for me at the receiving end. I love you for your carefree attitude, desire to have fun at every moment, and essentially just your bad ass go getter lmfao attitude ☺

Take a chance- I beg you- you have no idea where it might lead you. And I can promise you that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

Xoxo - AA

PS- working on a new signature- surfs up won’t work so back to the drawing board on that one. New background and design to come soon as well ☺

Mac and Cheese Recipe- Gluten Free, Dairy Free!

To me, this is one of the most exciting recipes I have come across since I started living gluten and dairy free a year ago. A little backstory for you here: I had a serious macaroni and cheese obsession as a child. I know many of you are saying, yes, we all did...no trust me- it got so bad that by the age of 6 my parents taught me how to make the blue box (Kraft) on my own. Whether it was my 6 year old smarts that had convinced them, or the sheer convenience of me making it myself as appose to them getting in the kitchen 3 times a day to do it for me- it happened. These days, finding a substitute for the real thing has been a tough journey. Luckily, I have a smart and dedicated man who was up for the challenge. This picture is the dish he created- a masterpiece:

Source: Uploaded by user via Amanda on Pinterest

I will be attempting the dish on my own this week and I have a feeling I will have similar success so I wanted to share the recipe ASAP and get the word out there for all of you crazy mac and cheese obsessed fans such as myself:

1/2 bag of GF pasta (rice pasta shells work great)
1/2 cup of Coconut milk (or creamer)
2 cups of Almond milk
1 tablespoon GF yeast flakes
1 tablespoon GF breadcrumbs (set aside)
1 package of Soy cheeze or Rice Cheeze (stay away from vegan cheese- the flavor is lacking)

Boil the pasta and set aside. In a small sauce pan over medium heat combine and continually stir all of the ingredients. Once the cheeze is fully melted, add the mixture to the pasta and stir until all of the shells are completely covered. Finally, add the breadcrumbs to complete!

I hope you enjoy this masterpiece as much as I did/will continue to do :)

xoxo AA

Cilantro Thai Chicken Recipe- Gluten Free, Dairy Free!

Hello world- With a lot of cooking going on these days I've decided it's time to start sharing my yummy creations on my blog. The main reason is because I live a gluten free/dairy free lifestyle 80% of the time (those other 20% are for on the weekends when I decide to indulge and deal with the consequences) so when I am able to get something to taste good on my diet...I better spread the word! Here is the Cilantro Lime Chicken dish I snagged and successfully cooked from a link on Pinterest:

Source: Uploaded by user via Amanda on Pinterest

It was super easy to make and extremely tasty- here are the ingredients/directions:
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 cup cilantro
2 tablespoons asian fish sauce
1 tablespoon of GF soy sauce (also known as Tamari)
Put all of the ingredients in a blender or food processor and blend until a paste like consistency.

Marinate (place the mixture in the fridge with) the 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts for 15-30mins. Put the mixture with the chicken into a non-stick pan and cook in the oven on 425 degrees for 30 minutes or until the chicken is golden brown (you can also broil for 20 mins).

This is served over gluten free rice pasta noodles with sugar snap peas- but any variation of the 2 will work!

Enjoy :)
xoxo AA

Manly Hood

The male species continually surprises me and never seizes to amaze me. I know I have written a post here or there in the past about my beliefs on the struggle for manly hood. More recently, I have gotten a glimpse into men who are going through what will most likely be some of the most difficult moments in their lives and how they have reacted. From just my own experience, it seems as though the older the man the more difficult the experience seems to be for them to endure. Part of me believes that has something to do with some sort of generation gap- a sort of upbringing in the 60s in a household with parents whom did not promote the discussion of feelings or recognition of them at all. Think Betty Draper parenting style al-la Mad Men. With younger men, I have started to see the amazing and sometimes unimaginable strength they have to make it through something no matter what. The difference here I think is the community of other men they have surrounded themselves with for support. A community of extremely mentally sound and hard working young men who know what they want and know they can and will go after it together and accomplish it as a team. I am so impressed by this positive mental attitude that I think we ladies (I am really speaking for myself here and anyone else who feels like this speaks to them) could learn a little something from here. Sometimes, actually many times in life, we are going to have to endure situations that are less than favorable. Whether they be emotionally or physically taxing, we know before they come that they are eminent and will most likely suck. But if we know it is a means to an end, and just except that it is actually going to ‘suck’ for a certain period of time- we are more able to get through it, move past it, and hopefully learn even more from it. I think for these extraordinary men I am describing here it is more of a matter of perception. For example, my brother has been at boot camp for about 65 days now. His letters have gone from “I am having a really tough time adjusting” in the very beginning to “I am have an awesome time here and am making some great friends” in his most recent letter. Last I checked, boot camp is rarely described as “fun” but this young man has changed his attitude so much so that he is actually enjoying himself. So if  you are one of those men out there and are reading this- and you know who you are (because I want to remain completely discreet)- I just want to say thank you so much for being who you are- for being great to those I love and for continuing to move forward. You are an inspiration to all of us, even in the small obstacles of our lives- you set an example for accepting nothing less than strong community and greatness J

xoxo AA

Break Free

Hello everyone! You all know I have been devoting the majority of my summer to my brother’s photo blog (if you haven’t already checked it out- please head to aalimo29.tumblr.com and share for his support!) as well as hand writing him on a daily basis. And I have been lucky to be spending a lot of quality with my man in uniform before he too heads out for training in October. Once my brother returns in September and my man departs soon thereafter I will have PLENTY more time for writing and I am sure I will have a wide array of thoughts to share J

But in the spirit of getting back into the swing of things I wanted to share something with you all today. Besides the things I mentioned above, this summer has been a bit of a personal journey for me as well. When the things around us seem to be changing at lightening speed and without our control, it can sometimes be difficult to find the beauty in the break down. I’d like to say- in typical form, I took this as an opportunity. So this summer I have been grateful enough to stumble upon the project of personal and interpersonal emotional communicative discovery. Making it my every effort to not only have a better understanding of my emotions and the emotions of others but also how to better communicate and LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

It is now mid-August and I can finally say that I am starting to see some of the hard work pay off. Hence the ‘break free.’ In both the work and personal arenas this week instead of going on the defensive, reacting, or becoming emotional, I took a step back. In trying to understand where some of my missteps originate from, I have become better able to realize that is the case for most of us. Our actions generally reaction a place we are coming from inside, whether that be a happy memory or a tough remembrance. And for the 1^st time, instead of acting how I normally would when presented with a tough situation or could-be altercation- I broke free. After years of habit, I realized I am strong enough, I am smart enough, I have enough good in me to turn the needle, to change my communication style and form better, more long lasting, and fulfilling relationships with those around me. There are a few things to note here and the reasons as to why I am sharing this fairly personal tidbit with you. 1. Work on yourself- it is tough, scary, emotional, and not fun. But you deserve it, you deserve to be the best YOU there is and YOU are worth it. 2. You can break free. You can break free from years of being taught and habitually miscommunicating or relaying information and start a new. A new that those around you will set as precedent of how they deserve to be treated by you and how you expect to be treated. Big discussion pieces I know, but this BIG GIRL IN THE CITY (as many of my man’s friends teasingly refer to my blog as ;)- miss you guys!!) is growing up and learning how to figure this big world and sometimes small city life. And I could not have come close to this realization if it wasn’t for the supportive, loving, patience, caring, and kind people I feel more lucky everyday to be surrounded by- so thank you J

Xoxo AA

Some very, very exciting news

After little thought, serious consideration, and a few seeds planted- I have finally combined forces with a blogging buddy! TwoWalksOneAve.blogspot.com is the new blog me and my friend Kat have finally started. Most of the posts on here will appear on there, but with our blogs combined- we hope to offer a fresh perspective to one another and those reading. Updated constantly with crazy, exciting, and hopefully mostly insightful happenings of our lives- she will be reporting from Ave A and myself from Columbus Ave. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride :)
xoxo AA

Sun and Fun!

This past weekend, 2 couples, a cooler full of sandwiches, and a collection of solid beats...made their way down to Ocean City, MD. I had been to the Jersey Shore before with my family a few years ago and was expecting the same sort of environment in Ocean City. Though they are definitely 2 different cities- they did share a myriad of similarities: beach, sandy motel rooms, fresh seafood restaurants galore, and cheesy fun activity centers like mega mini golf complete with go kart racing. Beach towns being one of my favorite scenes- I took right to the environment. I am not writing this post to bore you with the nitty gritty details of the trip (I consider those mostly private trip between my fellow travelers and I on this occasion) but I am writing to share something I learned. Many times, with life in the big city, we get used to the grind of getting up, fixing our hair, makeup, and outfits to perfection because well, that is what is acceptable in our society (especially if you are showing up to a paying job). But sometimes, when you let your hair down, leave the makeup bag behind and just go with the flow- you learn to experience the things and people around you on a  different level and generally in a worry free environment. I am not saying to completely let yourself go and dress like a bum everyday for work but what I am saying is that the beauty that can be found in simplicity is something that might not be discovered otherwise. So every once in a while, sit back, throw on comfy outfit, put your hair up- and genuinely just focus on the time you have with those around you- you won't get that moment back :)
xoxo AA

Saddle Up!

Bless my lucky stars y'all! Kidding- but seriously, a few weekends ago I was fortunate enough to make a long weekend trip down to the Lone Star State...Texas that is- to visit my man and uniform and his family. Told by my hosts to 'leave my NYC stuff behind' I showed up at the Dallas-Fortworth airport in nothing more than my Yankees hat and little city dress. Being an east coaster and never having adventured to TX before (there was a brief 2 years of my life that I did live in CO but that is a moot point here) I was not sure what to expect. I had been warned that heat was the 1st difference I would notice but instead, it was the instant sense of calmness and charm. There was something in the air (and I am not referring to the humidity) that just felt safe and sound- like I was home. Staying at my man's awesome childhood ranch style home I felt instantly welcomed. A quick game of Banana Grams (do I need to tell you who reigned victor?) and we were out the door on our way to TX BBQ. People...when I tell you that I actually fell in love with food on this trip...take me seriously. Brisket and chicken were my main weapons of choice followed by sides of dirty rice and baked beans. I think I nearly blacked out at the dinner table due to the high levels of bliss I experienced with each bite. As I sat in this feed store turned restaurant, I again felt a sense of happiness and community in the air. Day 2: we were off to the range for some shooting. Let me just quickly set the scene for you here- the only experience I have with the idea of shooting is from the movies/video games. Meaning shot outs, assassins, and thugs. You can imagine the sheer terror I was experience inside (whilst holding it together like a lady on the outside of course) when we arrived at the range. To my complete and utter shock, this was nothing like the movies. Rather, shooting is a sport! And a sport to be taken very seriously. After dabbling with a riffle among the many Texan men that were out for their Saturday morning shooting sessions, I decided to try out the civilian version of an M-16 (to my knowledge, what our troops take with them overseas). Sheer terror washed over me as I was knocked completely out of my comfort zone by this overpowering weapon. I decided to stick with my riffle. After lunch under cover from the sun, I took few shots with the handgun and we called it a day. All in all not only did I have a good time but it was a successful trip- I completely got over my fears and came to the realize that shooting is actually a sport in many places. Day 3: this might have been my favorite experience of the trip- country line dancing! Myself, my man, his sis and bro headed out to BILLY BOB'S (yes that is a real place, and I know what you're thinking...it sounds awesome...it was awesome). When we pulled up I noticed the fresh stench of cow poop. Reason being is that not only is Billy Bob's a great place to get your country line dancing on, but also has a rodeo inside where professional bull riders attempt to wrestle and ride bulls. We missed  the show (but not the poop) and headed straight for the dance floor. Again, country line dancing is almost like a competitive sport. Or at least it should be because it is certainly a lot more difficult than it appears. After a few quick lessons from my man's bro and sis, we hit the floor. One quick item to note, instead of a glowing disco ball, there was a glowing saddle (how cool!!) hanging above the dance floor. With some trial and error runs, we finally got the hang of it. I looked around and again felt a sense of security and bliss in the air. Something that seems so simple as dancing around a floor had brought a huge group of people together (very accepting crowd I might add) to just dance and have a genuinely great time. Needless to say, I had a great time in TX. Besides the food, the guns, and dancing, it was the people and hospitality that I enjoyed the most. There is something to be said for simplicity or change of pace that can clear your mind and give you a fresh perspective on the world around you. To see folks truly live out a sort of 'life is great' motto through their actions made my trip all the more special. So thank you to my wonderful hosts- for welcoming me into your home with open arms and for showing me a great time! This city girl might just have a little country in her y'all! Just kidding? ;)
xoxo AA

I love to see you go but I hate to watch you leave

Ok post #1 of the catch up. As most of you know at this point, my little brother left for Marine Corp Boot Camp on June 17th (yes I have been drafting this post for that long lol). Since that time, I have given much thought to the subject of 'leaving.' Many times, people come in and our of our lives- but it is when we have to say goodbye or 'see you later' to family or loved ones that the struggle seems appears. Especially in my case, there is something about seeing a younger sibling leave that is more unsettling than anything else. And in the same vain, seeing senior family members at a moment of weakness also leaves a not-so-great feeling. But there is something to recognize here that I have finally realized- when we say goodbye for now, we are essentially forced to turn to others. Though we know we will see the person again who is departing, this sort of leaving allows us to renew and replenish the relationships we have with others around us. Since my brother has left, we have formed a little community, a sort of supportive camp if you will here at home base. From Facebook and Tumblr updates to hand written letters everyday- myself, my family, and my brother's friends (many of which him and I would both agree are more like family) have come together to make sure that we are showing Mike as much love and support as possible. All because of this one kid (who I am sure had no idea how much he meant to so many people before he shipped out) we have all united as one in his cause. The point here is not whether or not I miss him because that is of course a no-brainer. But, now that we have all settled into the idea of him being gone for a bit and he has gotten over the hump-  I am able to view the situation a bit more clearly. I can see that Mike leaving is great for him because he is experiencing something that is going to make him into the man that he will most likely be like for the rest of his life. And it is also great for all of us- it brought a community of somewhat strangers and a family of individuals together. I also know that by only being able to write my brother our bond is growing stronger as siblings because we are depending upon one another in ways which we have never before. In the end, am thankful for the change because it has certainly shown me how truly grateful and proud I am of this kid.
This one is for you brobro bear :)
xoxo AA

Hello World!

I have missed you! It has been just about a month since my last post and in that short (long?) amount of time- a lot has happened in my life in the big city. Most of the fun and time away has been experienced outside the city; each adventure which I will be sure to share in separate blog posts following this one. But after a month of great travels, hard goodbyes, and experiences that enabled me to learn more about myself and those that I love- I am glad to be back writing. If I am going to be totally honest, I have been cheating on this blog with another blog I started for my little brother the day he left for Marine Corp boot camp. If you want to check it out and read more (mainly pictures, and short text blurbs) click here: http://aalimo29.tumblr.com/ . On top of my daily posts there, I have made every effort to hand write my brother a letter everyday. I promise these are not excuses for my neglect to this blog- but sometimes I don't have enough words to write that much content in a day! I also definitely have to write a quick little update on how my new job in the big city has been going :) If you're still reading- thanks so much for your support! And if not, that's OK too because this blog has provided me with not only a public diary of the wonderful things I am so blessed to experience in my life but also a place to figure things out just by writing them down :)
Posts to come!
xoxo AA

Cultural Cluster

Part 2 of the vacation diaries. This was not my 1st trip to the Bahamas, in fact it was my 4th or 5th because now that I have reconnected with family I make a point to head down there around this time each year. I am so blessed to be able to do this and I try to eat up every moment I am down there with my family. And of course soak up the sun and sand between my toes :) At any rate, this was my counterpart's 1st time out of the states and my 1st time going as a pair instead of just a lady, or just a lady and her friend. As soon as we arrived I realized something felt different almost immediately. What many people don't understand about some parts of the caribbean is that the beauty and oasis that is portrayed in commercials or ads for all inclusive resorts and the like- is not what really makes up the lifestyle and the people that inhabit these beautiful islands year round. But rather, there is a real culture here, one that most are not generally exposed to, and one that I love to experience each year because it is so real and different than what one might expect. At any rate, I knew this year was not just about me but also about the guest I was so excited to have join me on this trip. This year was also different because for the 1st time we were venturing off the main island and enjoying the majority of our trip on a rather desert island (the American perception at least) known as Long Island. A hop skip and a jump over (actual a 45 minute plane ride) and we arrived on the sandy tarmac...and it was awesome. The entire island was caribbean jungle with 1 road and brightly colored homes scattered here and there. The adventures we got to experience all together were priceless- and things that I never imagined being able to do. From cliff diving into 600 foot deep water known as the blue hole, to spear fishing and escaping to a private island beach- the natural beauty and excitement of it all made me take a step back and just smile. Did I mentioned we showered with rain water? So refreshing! But there is something to note here; a lesson I walked away with of course. Sometimes when we are only concerned about ourselves we don't see the cultural differences around us and don't understand how this could be a significance to someone else. For the 1st time I got to understanding that when you go outside the boundaries- whether that be your comfort zone, or just to a more exotic destination- reactions may vary. And that is completely OK!! It is a matter of recognizing and discussing these sorts of cultural difference that will not only enable you to understand another person better but also see a situation or an experience from a completely new perspective that you may not have considered before. I know I am being entirely vague for the purpose of privacy of my family and loved ones- but I felt the need to share this travel experience. When I 1st started blogging years ago, I had just landed in Florence, Italy for a 4 month study abroad program. I was not only shocked, but scared, tired, and wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. With a little more travel experience now, I am able to sort of let things go by the way side as I move around- but none the less it was almost refreshing to see someone else experience that. It made me realize that traveling is not only a beautiful adventure, but a means to getting to know yourself and others better. Sometimes I think it is almost imperative that we lose ourselves abroad in order to find ourselves at home. As for the post vacation blunders- all I have to say is take me back to the sand and the sun :)

xoxo AA

America...F Yea

Hello world wide web!! The reason for my most recent absence you ask? Vacation! The past 2 weeks I was celebrating my man in uniform's graduation down in Annapolis, MD and immediately hopped on a jet plane thereafter for some fun in the Bahamian sun. The latter of which you will hear about in the next post but I thought it would be best if I broke the trips up into 2 parts because there were aspects of each that I felt the need to share. 1st of all- I love America. That seems to become more clear and prevalent with each time that I visit the US Naval Academy. It's never that the feeling of love for my country is non-existent, but rather the pride I have for our nation and the people that serve it becomes all the more prevalent when I am in a morale boasting atmosphere surrounded by others that have similar feelings. Heading into graduation, I was hearing murmurs that the event might be 'a very emotional experience' and that it was a 'very special time for family and loved ones in the Navy.' A bit apprehensive due to these rumors, I put my sun dress on with a smile on my face and headed out the door. Only to realize once we arrived that I was missing a sun hat- something that would have saved me from my base burn and possible tubs of sweat (apparently I was one of the very few that did not get the memo here). Anyways, sitting in the blazing sun listening to the Secretary of the Navy speak I was not only happy to be there but was having a great time. You have to understand that graduation (or what is actually referred to as 'commissioning') is nothing like a real gradation. Between the canons, the Blue Angels flying overhead, and the secret service covering all areas due to all of the government officials present- this was no UCONN College of Liberal Arts and Science snooze fest like I experienced. During the Secretary of the Navy's speech I realized something- though this was an extremely special moment for all of the graduates and a potential emotional moment for their families, it was a true further affirmation of why these brave men and women serve our great country. You might remember from an earlier post that there have been times that my exposure to the military community (such as at the Navy Marine Corp Relief Society Ball) have left me feeling sad, fearful, and sometimes confused. But at graduation, I was reminded of how honorable, courageous, and self-less this group of people are. How everything they are fighting for comes back to us, to our safety, to our rights and liberties. And how it truly takes an exceptional and unbelievably tough person to knowingly step into the line of danger to defend the rest of us. So instead of walking away teary eyed and scared- I walked away more proud of our country and more knowledgable on why the military's job is so imminent to our society as we know it. I just want to say thank you to all of those serving our country, but more specifically my man in uniform and all of his friends that are about to or in a few months will begin their training. I know you are all going to  rise above the difficulties and prevail as better, stronger, and wiser people. And for those of you that I will see again in the near future- put your requests in now for comfort food because I will be cooking up a storm when I come visit :)
xoxo AA

Love

Hello world! I've missed you...somewhere between sifting through the new fancy excel documents in my new job, breakfast for dinner with my man in uniform, and Sunday's in the park with grandma- I have almost forgotten about my blog! Naturally the light when off when I realized I had something to discuss and remember duh I have somewhere to put it! LOVE- no not just the romantic crazy once in a lifetime stuff, but the human compassion kind. I've been seeing it a lot around recently and it all started with my Pastor's wife's sermon to my church on Mother's Day. Usually a tough day for me, I went into this particularly sunny Sunday giving those around me an honest heads up about how I felt about the day. Walking out of church with surprisingly the same amount of dry tissues I entered with (a rarity for many of us that attend Hillsong, and especially for me on such a day) I was shocked by my reaction. Though Mother's day was about a mother's lover- I realize motherly love doesn't just come from moms and isn't only received by children. As I went about my week I started to see the love all around me. Of course the love and support of my own lover, but also from family and friends and even random people on the streets. It was the small acts of kindness that started really sticking out to me once I became aware of how many different forms 'motherly' look could take. I saw this most recently with my new friends at work- new friends who have started to try and make every effort to make me feel as comfortable and accepted as they so desired on their 1st days on the job as well. I heard it in stories, 1 in particular that touched my heart from my grandmother and a close friend that showed her the kind of caring attentive love that she needed. And I saw it in myself when I found out my brother was leaving sooner rather than much later for USMC boot camp. The instinct to immediately make every effort to ensure we A. got to see each out and B. that his short time left before he shipped out was made special. And I was even lucky enough to see some real motherly love- with a woman and her son the subway. So mesmerized by this tiny baby, she inspected every little finger and toe, kissing each one as she became more excited by the next. Love is something that in the recent weeks I have not only become more grateful for, but something I have learned can take different forms of course. And in my experience, it is when you learn to love in different ways, whole heartily and not caring of how silly or ridiculous it looks- it is then the you can feel the true unbelievable effects of love. So for all of you that love me- thank you!! I love you too :) And too all of you who don't want to let the love in- open up the flood gates! Because once you feel it, you'll never want to go back. And that lesson alone made me realize that mother's day doesn't have to be a dark day for me, but rather it can just be a celebration of love in every form every year :)
xoxo AA

Listen Up

Why is listening so hard for some of us? Though it has been something I have been personally working on in 2012 (a resolution in fact) and though working in sales has definitely made me a better listener, I still find that I struggle with it. I am writing this post as a means to maybe help myself figure it out, and in the process if you do too, then awesome. But it even starts there- maybe the person who I want to read this most won't even be 'listening' to my writing. This is certainly not directed at one person, but sometimes the people we want to listen the most just won't shut the F up. I myself landed in a pickle of the sorts this week. When I hear a problem I immediately start strategizing ways to fix it.  I consider myself an active listener- I share my honest thoughts on solutions and next steps when the person is done talking. Isn't that what everyone wants to hear? Apparently not. Here's what I am saying- if you are not ready to hear someone's perception of the truth then you probably shouldn't ask. And if you are, well then you don't need to ask me because I am most likely already trying to solve the problem ;) Come to think of it, how am I even genuinely listening if all I can think of the entire time is my response? And why is it so hard for many of us (really hope I'm not alone on this one) to just hear someone out and not respond? Is it that we feel the need to contribute to the conversation in order to prove to the other person that we were in fact listening (tell tale trick in college, response equals recognition). Or is it that we are responding to someone else's dilemmas in an effort to figure out our own? Either way- I learned something this week. First of all- an apology. For any of your reading this- if you've ever wanted me to listen and I just wouldn't shut up...I am sorry (please know it is always out of love). Secondly, I am still trying to come to a better understanding of true friendship. Most of my friends tell me they respect honesty and want the truth. So what is it then- do we want to hear the truth or do we want to hear what will make us feel better? If those 2 are 1 in the same; great! If not; trouble. Finally after all of this I am just realizing that moral support does not only come in the form of words, but in the form of silence. There are many times in life I now realize that silence can sometimes be the most calming through the storm. Plans to clean up the mess later can always wait but it seems as though a sense of peace and tranquility is 1st needed by many (myself include) before we can pick up and try to figure it all out again. In the end, this reminds me of my relationship (and many people's relationships) with God or whatever higher power you believe in. In my faith, God is always there to listen- but I notice how He does not talk back, or immediately at least. It's like He is always there to listen and responds only when He knows I am ready to hear what He has to say. That is definitely something I am going to strive towards- because for some reason the answers always seem to come that way- regardless of the approach :)
xoxo
AA

New Kid on the Block

Day #1...was a success! I just wanted to write a quick bit about my 1st day on the job at ELLE.com. The day began with a more than wonderful tour given by our HR guide- both through the Hearst history and the building itself. After that I met with my team who are a lovely group of girls! After lunch and a big staff meeting the day came to an end more quickly than I had anticipated. I realized something today as I sat at lunch alone (no 'aw's please, it was fine)...I am totally the new girl! Being the new girl is very different at your 1st job ever as appose to your 2nd, 3rd, etc. At least in my experience, I definitely did not feel as nervous and quite frankly was just ready to get to work, now knowing what the working world entails. But as I people watched all of the beautiful shoes walking past me in the cafeteria, I noticed that there was something refreshing about being the new girl. Besides the obvious fresh slate, new start, blah blah- I was vulnerable and I was happy to embrace it. Instead of being so familiar with my surroundings, I couldn't distinguish the location of the bathroom from the kitchen. It was refreshing to know that I had so much to learn- so many new experiences ahead of me. Even on my commute home (which will normally be a 15 minute walk when the weather decides to hold out) smelled of new instead of the subway route I had been consistently taking Mon-Fri for the past 2 years. Sometimes we don't even realize how we continue to go through the motions day in and day out. Having to figure out where the train was to get home forced me to pay attention to my surroundings and not be in zombie robot mode (as much as I know my man loves zombies ;)). Coming out of zombie robot mode made me come back down to reality, and for that I am grateful. I'm off to bed- bright eyed, bushy tailed, and excited for another new day tomorrow :)

xoxo

AA

If you hadn't heard, well now you know

I have some shocking news people that are still reading my blog...I START MY NEW JOB AT ELLE.COM TOMORROW MORNING!!!!!!!!! I am so excited/blessed/grateful/gracious I don't even know what to do with myself. But beyond that I am ready for a new adventure. I will be putting my sales hat back in the closet for a bit and getting back into my old roots- the world of digital...and I cannot wait. Leaving the only job I've ever had since college graduation, and the only group of people I've ever worked with (Abercrombie does not count here, that was a lifestyle back in the day, not my job hehe)- the time since I gave in my 2 weeks notice last Monday was certainly bitter sweet. I felt it necessary to share a few things in the past 2 weeks that will not only make me stronger, but better prepared for my career path ahead. 1st of all- quitting a job is a truly unfortunate most awkward life experience. There is probably a book on how to do it but quite frankly I've been so hooked on Hunger Games the thought did not cross my mind to purchase such a paperback, until, well...now. Once the band-aide was ripped off- people's reactions began to set it. And for my remaining 10 (which turned into 8) days at the office I realized was no longer mine, I experienced a myriad of personalities. My close friends were of course supportive immediately, others who I was not so close with seemed confused, and then there were some folks that came across as angry. I am starting to realize (hoping) now that it was in fact disappointment or hurt that was being displayed as anger. Either way, as each day went on I realized more and more that I was no longer apart of the team and that even the desk I sat at and came mildly attached to was no longer mine. Accounts, clients, and daily responsibilities had been taken away. I should have known this was coming- I quit, what did I think they were still going to need me for? But maybe that was just it. I knew I was leaving and I am beyond excited for my new opportunity but the realization that I was so easily replaceable took some time to set in. Over my 2 weekdays off I got all of my necessary errands ran and even took a gander around the streets of NYC to realize how truly fortunate I am to have a job to report to everyday. And as time went on I remembered this was just business. This was just life. This was just the progression of events, change, people coming and going. This is what life was all about. I guess when you deliver unexpected news for people you see 5/7 days a week, sometimes the information can be shocking and therefore the reaction not what you expected it to be. And I think this finally all came back to relationships for me- had these people I worked with for so long really no longer cared about me once I quit? Did they think I no longer cared about them? And if this is all about business- well then why the hell do I care? Pulling a bit of an Irish Exit mid-week I decided to head back to the office one last time to make sure I said goodbye to everyone. And to my surprise, this is exactly what I needed. Dressed in my street clothes, people were confused to see me back and as many of us embraced, I was so happy that I had returned just for a brief amount of time to see that it was OK to leave- that leaving did not mean that my relationships with many of these people had to end. In fact, many of them were supportive! And it is those memories I will take with me to my new job because they have helped me to realize how every step of the journey is as important as the next and how grateful I am not only for the opportunity I am able to receive, but the relationships I am able to form with great people. If there are going to be haters that gone hate, I hope that your hate is only disguising hurt because as a good friend recently told me, we are all on our own paths :)
WISH me luck tomorrow!!
One lucky girl,
xoxo
AA

It's getting serious

I think I feel in love with the city again today. Ironically enough it started at 8:23AM just outside of Trader Joe's when I saw a middle aged dad get arrested for pulling over, exiting his car (mind you wife and kids were in the back, I'm guessing on the way to school) and shouting at a cab driver. At 1st I of course laughed but then I realized- the passion this dude had, though irreverent and clearly uncontrollable, was like a piece of this city. Something we couldn't do without- something that just makes it so quintessential NYC. Moving to midday, as I hopped onto the subway to head to my spinning class I actually enjoyed the ride. It was one of those off peak times where I was able to get a seat and dive deep into my book as the plot thickened; as if nothing was going on around me (which can be quite a shocking feeling when you live in a city filed with people). And finally, at spin class- I am telling you I am convinced (maybe it's my New York attitude) that you can have experiences here that you might not be able to have anywhere else. Granted, soul cycle is on the east and west coasts but it's one of those new (to me) and crazy experiences that I am so happy to be exposed to here...and it really hits my soul. It also made me think about my faith- that when moving here I was lucky enough to find my church that is literally like no other experience- and quit frankly scares many 1st timers. As I made my way back to the office there was a hint of sun, a touch of wind, and a lot of noise. But good noise- like things were alive and happening around me. Good things are happening here- and I just took it all in- remembering 'damn NYC, our relationship is pretty serious'- and I'm grateful for that :)
xoxo AA

5 boroughs in 1 day

This past sunny Saturday a certain feline friend and myself (again, she's a real person, not an animal- we've been over this) decided to embark on the 5 borough tour. Thanks to TONY (Time Out New York) we had a strict list with stops, directions, and suggestions. The day started a little wobbly as plans got shifted around a bit. We checked Manhattan off the list immediately because we are lucky enough to gallivant through that borough on a daily basis. 1st stop- Staten Island. Not a place I've ever been before, and if we are going to frank, not a place I had been dying to go to thanks to some of the delinquents portrayal of life on the island in their performance on the hit show, The Jersey Shore. BOY WAS I WRONG- after a quick (and free!) ride over, we got off to what seemed to be a beautifully untaped and most serine part of NY. As we walked along the historic district of St. George, I noticed that I could actually hear my own thoughts and went a whole block's length without seeing another person in sight! It was a truly a moment of quietness I think we both needed. As we hopped back on the ferry, hunger overcame as usual and instead of hitting up the Bronx, Queens (which had already sort of slid off the list because I am there many weekends to see my grandmother) and Brooklyn- we hit up our favorite Manhattan Mexican restaurant for some staple tacos and beer. Later in the evening, I unexpectedly met up with some close friends that I hadn't seen in quite some time. As I headed home around 12AM the day started making sense to me. As an excessive planner, I came to my senses and realized that sometimes the best days are those that are unplanned. Sure we didn't 'reach our goal' of making it to all 5 boroughs in one day, but we got to spend some quality time with some quality people. Since that sunny Saturday, I have started making a conscious effort to plan less- even down to my walk to work. Taking the road sometimes untraveled can open up new doors and new opportunities. Or at least provide you with a change of scenery and an altered perspective :)
xoxo AA

Watch out for that moving...SUV?

Well folks, yesterday morning on a casual 6AM run my roommate and I drifted along the NYC streets with the crisp morning air in our lungs and sleepy dreams of the night prior in our minds. As transplants from (most recently) CT, I would be lying if I said we watched every time we crossed the street because quite frankly when you drive a car for so long, these things don't just pop into your mind regularly. Right as we came across 81st I saw that we did not have the right of way, my runner buddy...did not. My poor zealous friend collided with a huge black Escalide- I don't mean she just got hit, but she hit him! It was a mutual smash up in every sense of the phrase and quite frankly the noise may never leave my audible memory. Thank GOD she was OK- a few nasty bruises, a sore body, and hopefully an OK knee but I was semi shocked by my own reaction to the situation. During most times of crisis, I immediately enter mommy mode and know exactly what to do, when to do it, and the level of calmness it will take. This time, I almost lost it. At the moment of contact, I was not only so shocked by what was happening, but my fingers were literally inches from grabbing her shirt in an effort to help her avoid the whole thing. But I couldn't. I was completely powerless. I had to sit back and watch as the whole thing happened in front of me. For the almost weak moment that I almost lost it, I immediately snapped back into it and mommy mode presented itself to me again, thankfully. Yesterday's debacle, which quite frankly is a blessing because my best friend is still alive, made me realize 3 things. 1- this person is my best friend and I love her- more than I realized-and the thought of losing her was absolutely unacceptable in my mind. 2- the usual, you only live once. God literally plastered the image of my friend getting hit right in front of my face saying "HELLO- DO YOU SEE HOW QUICKLY THIS CAN ALL END?" 3- this is a big one for me that I just realized as I write this. Ultimately, we have no control. Yes, you control what clothes you put on in the morning, the words that come out of your mouth, the food you decide to make for dinner. But big life choices- love, family, friendship, even big career moves- we may have a hand in but in the end, what is meant to be is going to happen. Yesterday was another re-jolted reminder to stop trying to control everything, or worry about the outcome of situation, but just LIVE IN. Because the longer we wait to live, the sooner it is going to pass us by. And it is kind of a freeing feeling once you realize the control of these big life events, is out of your hands. It is especially freeing when you have faith that it will all work out as it should :)
- xoxo AA

Lucky 3,000

Almost 3,000 views on my blog- woot woot (I hope I am not 2,995 of those haha)! In the past week, I have been 1 lucky gal. I got to: sit in some of the most insane cars at the NYC auto show, dance the night away at the International Ball in Annapolis with my (the most handsome ;) ) man in uniform, go to a Yankees game, find out some EXTREMELY exciting yet secret news about a very close friend, go to a Knicks game, go on a run (it's been over a month!!), and catch up over bubble tea with another close friend. To some of you, a few of those things may not sound so great- but of course there is a point to all of this. Regardless of how good the seats were or how short my run was, that was not what stole my attention at each of these events. It was the people around me. At the auto show, there was a Jaguar concept car on display with red rope around it (clearly off limits to the public). When I looked over, I saw one of the Jaguar representatives helping an elderly man (with his family) out of his wheelchair and into the seat of the car. After a few pictures, and some more maneuvers to get him back into his chair- the look of pure glee and happiness on his face brought a smile to mine. It was such a small gesture but something that meant so much to this man- and quite frankly my favorite part of the auto show. At the IBall in Annapolis- we were lucky enough to get on stage with the DJ and  dance in front of the whole school. Neither of us lacking in any sort of shame, I was not only so excited to be up there in front of everyone, but was so grateful to be dancing there with my man with another big fat smile on my face. At the Knicks game- we met an attendant in the elevator who gushed over our candy but when asked, explained to us that she did not get a discount on food by working at MSG. Baffled, we went and purchased her a huge bag of Reeses Pieces and found her in the same elevator to deliver them. Her graciousness and level of excitement made me so happy to just be able to share this interaction with her. And finally, bubble tea with a friend- I nearly felt terrible that I hadn't followed up on the engagements of her previous evening with a new male suitor. I was SHOCKED and so excited to hear that she had been 'secretly smiling' to herself all day because the date went so well. FINALLY- I thought, I was so excited that my friend was able to find and connect with someone in this crazy big city. At the end of all of it- I am so grateful for not only the experiences I am able to have here (and beyond the city walls)- but more so for the amazing people I have around me and get to spend them with. It made me realize again that it really doesn't matter what you are doing or where you are doing it, but that when you are doing it WITH love WITH the people you love- great memories and joy can only result :)
- xoxo AA

Breakthrough

This post was originally supposed to begin with my Easter weekend but I just had a breakthrough. It will be explained at the end of the post- but I am literally so excited I had to spoil the surprise. At this point in my 20-something life, I have had a myriad of religious experiences. Reason being is that officially one year ago I joined the Christian faith (yaya!). Raised as a traditional Catholic school girl- my family still remains within the Roman Catholic community (with a few falling by the agnostic way side). Somewhere in between last year I was on a journey to find my faith- visiting everything from Catholic, Christian, Southern-something-or-other, and every thing in between. This year, more settled into my Christian faith, I still found it was as important to me as it was to my grandmother that we attend Easter service together. So I made a point to spend Good Friday worship at my church with a good friend from home. Clearly there were vast differences between the 2 services but there were a few key things I experienced worth noting. On Friday night I was filled with hope and joy as we celebrated the death and what would be the eventual rising of Jesus in saving us from our sins. Religious or not- I was so relieved to hear from our pastor that we would be taking communion together as a family from our seats. No one perceived as higher up or more 'close to God' would be handing it to us from a Chalice (Catholic church's new phrase- similar to the Stella commercials?), but that we were a family-united in faith, and consuming together. Something that even some biologically related families may not experience together because they don't sit down to enjoy dinner as a family on a regular basis- something even I have seen. Come Sunday, the tides had turned...The Priest immediately began with phrases such as 'The Lord has struck his power, be prepared' and 'Friday was the worst day in Christian history,' and a repetitive favorite 'If you don't believe this, you are not a Christian.' At one point, we were told to get our $$ ready for the collection, but given no reason why. And finally when children (still children of God mind you) were screaming and crying in discomfort from the back pews, the priest actually yelled out 'Pay attention to me!' With shock and aw I realized I was a Christian at heart, and not the type he was describing. I realized that no 2 people are alike in belief and thought, but that in the end, if you do believe in something- God (or whatever you call it) will come to you. Sometimes it can be in the most odd of ways (such as a re-awakening in the mass of another church) or as you are taking the subway into work. The real breakthrough here: a close friend who told me today that she finally realized if she showed God she cared, He might show her He cares too and that she felt like He had finally given her a second change. Sitting here in near tears (yes people I'm at work, and yes I am going to be stepping out for lunch shortly to pull it together)- I am so grateful at how good God's work is- he has now affected my life in ways I never imagined, and continues to affect the lives of others. I could not be more grateful- and in the words of my new personal anthem: "too many sunsets, I haven't seen yet." :)
- xoxo AA

Rap City Chic

Life in the big city is like no other. Yes, I know I have addressed this on numerous occasions, but my experiences in this crazy yet wonderful place never cease to amaze me. And something I seem to learn quite often these days- face your fears. From down in the hood to up on the haughty east side- here in NYC I am constantly encountering great people in great and what can sometimes be considered 'not so safe' places. On just the right rainy- Harlem can actually be one of my favorite secret spots here. During a recent adventure, dressed  down as much as possible with no makeup in broad daylight (I know my grandmother is reading this so I want to assure her I am safe)- I gallivanted around the streets taking everything, engaging each of my senses. Not only did I hear the constant idle chatter in Spanish as if everyone knew one another, but the blaring music, flashing lights from small street vendors, and sizzling ethnic foods wafting from street trucks made my experience all the more enriched. This neighborhood was not scary, but rather filled with life, love and noticeable happiness. Granted there is grief and distress in any town, city, or home but it is the connectedness of a community of people that made me a lot less fearful of this place. Days later in another not-so-hot neighborhood, my cabbie passed by a large congregation of homeless people. Stopped at a red light in traffic, my natural reaction was to ensure that my right side door was locked, but I was instead in awe of what I saw. A homeless man, who had just received a cup of soup and a roll of what from what I now realized was a soup truck (hence the large congregation) was enjoying his meal for what seemed to be like his 1st in days. What was most shocking to me was that he was sharing his roll with a group of birds (pigeons, yes I know flying rats) that had also formed a small circle nearby. Instead of fear, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of compassion- realizing that this man who literally had NOTHING was sharing food, his possible only source of nourishment for the day, with an animal. The point of both of these experiences is that sometimes when you have a fear- face it. Whether it be a neighborhood, a group of people, or a new experience (please note I am not telling you to stare danger in the eye here) you will never truly know how great it can be unless you give it a chance. Open eyes, eye mind, open heart :)
xoxo AA

Enjoy your time

Last weekend I was lucky enough to attend a company dine out in Annapolis and the Navy Marine Corps Relief Ball with my man in uniform in our nation's capital. Both nights being very different from one another- each experience opened my eyes, mind, and heart to a great community. Night #1- essentially a gathering of the USNA's finest men from 1st company outfitted to the 9s in their dress tux uniforms. As soon as we were seated I was informed of a list of rules (1 page filled top to bottom) that if not followed, would result in your consumption of the grog. Rules ranged in everything from not 'murdering the Queen's English' to asking for permission to use the bathroom because 'military protocol always overrides any call of nature.' Nervous, but ready- I tried to be on my best behavior. Oh and the grog- well that is a vat of the most disgusting drink you could conjure up. It included (this is an incomplete list): ketchup, yogurt, non-alcoholic beer, and of course a dash of salt, pepper, and hot sauce. As the night went on we heard from the midshipman that had organized the dinner as well as a Navy retiree who had served in Mexico and beyond. I even had to sing a Disney duet upon requesting and being relieved to the restroom. As I sat there a began to realize I was in the midst of a band of brothers- normal guys who loved to have a great time just like the rest of us, but were bonded in a way we can't understand. Not to mention that their level of respect, attention to detail, and honor for our country is higher than most. It was a great experience, but it in no way prepared me for the next night. Night #2- 500 of your closest friends from the Navy and Marine Corps. The group included Navy and Marine Corp retirees, 1 2 and 3 star Admirals, and even foreign navy representatives and their wives of course. Who I was not expecting were the actual wounded warriors who the ball was held in benefit for. At 1st, I was thrown off because between keeping up with the 'sirs' and dealing with the constant voice of my grandmother in the back of my head saying 'be a lady,' holding it together in front of some of our nation's heroes seemed like a juggling act. After dinner and an amazing speech by a visiting nurse, it was time to hit the dance floor. The navy band had quite the line up- from golden oldies to the Rihanna hits of today. For those of you in my generation- dancing without grinding is a lot more difficult than you might think. Not because of the lack of skills in the appropriate dance moves category, but just because of the complete change in motion- my body was confused! During the last song- the electric slide- 1 of the wounded warriors actually dragged us onto the dance floor. At that moment I realized- these are real people who we were to be celebrating that night; not to be fearful of. The entire weekend I was exposed to some of the most successful, courageous, and honorable people I had ever met. I got a glimpse of how strong the bonds were between the families in the community, and saw that regardless of what the news or your poli sci proff said in college- these people are real and have a no bullshit job. And for that, I commend every single one of their efforts and feel so lucky to be able to support one (1 at the moment, 2 when little bro ships off to boot camp this summer) of their men in uniform. One more thing- when you think you're having a bad day- think about having 1 less limb, eye, or not being able to pick of the phone to text the person you love. You will soon realize your sacrifices are so less greater than those who protect our country and all that we stand for :)
xoxo AA

WWYD?

I have another post currently in the works but need to give it more time in the cooker- it covers some great experiences I had last weekend and will be up shortly :) Until that time, I had to get a quick note out that has been on my mind all week: WWUD- "What Would You Do?" Earlier, and probably on more than 1 occasion, I have discussed the ever-present battle between doing the 'right thing' and the reaction it may cause. This is something that me and I am sure many other people struggle with because doing what you believe to be the 'right thing' does not always lend itself to a favorable response from those around you (and I am not even getting into the discussion of what the hell is actually the right thing). There have been many situations where I thought I did the honest good deed and found that I not only was getting slack for it but that I did not receive the same treatment in return. Either way, I have made a point to keep pushing forward and try to do good no matter the situation (I know I am a human and I am not perfect but I try pretty damn hard day in and day out). This week- I had a HOLY CRAP moment. Months ago, I did something for a friend that was not asked of me but I knew was right. When a similar situation arose, this friend did NOT act as I did and instead reaped their own benefits from the circumstances. Confused and disappointed, I moved on still knowing what I did was right. But I always wondered why this situation happened and what it all meant. This week, that same friend, did something nice for someone else (a complete stranger) without being asked to do so. In fact, the option was available to this friend to reap their own benefits from the situation, but they instead 'paid it forward.' I finally realized the result of my good deed- in enabled my friend to pass along a good deed to someone else. So no matter what the situation, or what the plausible outcome may be- try to keep pressing forward. Days, months, or years down the line you will see how your actions may positively affect another's and in-turn offer something great for a person you may not even know! Consider this: every time you think no one is watching or listening, they are. And imagine if one of those people is a young, impressionable person who views you as their mentor. Would you want to be the reason they thought it was OK to not care about others? Whatever you do, do it with all your heart :)
xoxo AA

What makes the World go Round

Life has been happening to say the least. In the midst of it all, there were many ideas that I wanted to share but did not have the time to get written down! At any rate, the past few weeks have not only been great but also reminded me of an invaluable lesson I learned at a fairly young age. A quick recap of the 4 things that fueled the fire behind this post: 1st- I am starting to realize how we rely far too heavily (myself included) on technology so much so that I am beginning to wonder if we form actual relationships with devices- I work for a technology magazine and I am saying this (I will explain) 2nd- I realized that great relationships can actually become even better as you get to know someone on a totally different level (maybe one you didn't want to share because let's be honest, we can't all be perfect all the time) 3rd- family coming together again over a mini crisis (everyone is OK thank goodness), is that the only way we bond? 4th- success in sales? Yes you heard right- after months of my ridiculous antics and hundreds of voice messages, emails, and Starbucks drop-offs, I have finally started to see some business come in. After letting ALL of this process I FINALLY realized DUH the common theme here is relationships- and that they were at the center of what was really going on here. With each experience I described above, the glue- the defining character was the relationship. To break it down- (1) Technology: we all rely on it so much because it is the only way our generation has inherently LEARNED how to stay connected to others. It's not the actual phone that we have grown attached to, no matter how cool the apps or how fly the case, it's the power this device holds. It makes or breaks our communications with the ones we love, the ones we hate, and the ones we just can't seem to get rid of. (2) Great relationships: I am essentially that girl who attempts to come as close to being perfect day and in day out. Getting the stomach flu certainly does not fall into the line of perfection and is personally not a state I even want to see myself in. But it some odd way, showing a peak into my humanity, and seeing that of another- can actually bring you closer to someone. As much as I will continue to strive to be my best, I am grateful for my uncontrollable moment of weakness as it allowed me to realize this man loves me even at my lowest of lows. (3) Family crisis: yes folks, we are here again- and this lesson I just can't get enough of (my life motto if you will)- "Live everyday like it's your last." Time and time again I am appreciative of God theoretically shaking me and saying "pay attention because you don't realize how quickly it can all be taken away." You begin to remember that your relationships with family, the people you don't choose but are given, become all the more precious and cherished when you realize they have the possibly of not existing forever. (4) Professional success: for all the attempts at communicating with client with not even a hello, email, or phone call back- for all of the lunches and happy hours I sat across the table from people who quite frankly just didn't care- I never changed who I was. And for that, I won business- and I won business with people who respected me and that I hadn't given up on- people who I hope to consider my real friends in the future because they are willing to listen and I can finally hear their needs. So in the end- relationships in ALL facets of life play such an integral part in our existence as humans. They are something that I rely on not only for love and happiness, but for life lessons and professional gratification. Just realize that every interaction you have with those around you can ultimately effect the outcome of your circumstances today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now. But it is continually staying true to yourself that will ultimately allow you to reap the benefits of your relationships- especially the most important 1- the 1 with yourself :)
xoxo AA

Strong like Bull

What determines strength? This is a concept I have been wrestling with this week and am on the journey to figuring it out; hopefully writing this helps. The dictionary definition states that "it is the quality of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor." Besides about 5 problems I have with that statement, I am still not getting any sort of ramifications for a clear measurement of strength from that sentence. Addressing the physical 1st, how does one know if they are in fact strong if they try with all their might but just aren't able to accomplish the same physical tasks as others? I understand of course that the body structure of most men genetically makes them stronger than woman. But even then, woman to woman or man to man, how is it that some of us can train our hearts out and still not achieve what others can? That makes me think of one my grandmother's favorite quotes by Oscar Wilde- "Be yourself because everyone else is already taken." Fair point...moving on to mental strength. Essentially I think most of us know whether or not we got it. Mental strength of course does not present itself or allow its powers to work in all situations, but for the most part it seems that if you have a good head on your shoulders, you are able to rise above the chaos, learn from the grief, and just grin and bear it. But think about that for a second- are the people who we perceive to be most strong just ignoring the emotional pink elephant in the room? Do be considered mentally tough do you have to train yourself to rid your mind of everyone else's emotions (and even your own) to at least come across like you don't care? I sometimes wonder if it is the people that we think are most strong who are the ones that are crying out for help inside- wishing that they could just put down their armor for one moment to reveal their worries and fears inside. In some situations, it almost seems easier to just push forward, keep mowing on so at least your loved ones around you can look to YOU as a rock for support. After hashing all of this out in writing I've realized 2 things. 1- fine some people's bodies are just genetically stronger than others and that we all have a purpose of being here; no 2 people are alike in that sense for a reason. 2- if you are perceived as mentally strong (and I am now speaking from experience here) it is OK to recognize what you are experiencing inside sometimes. It makes you that much stronger of a person to be able to recognize that maybe something is wrong or that you can't always have a plan mapped out for every moment. Like most of my conclusions- it's all about faith for me. The more faith you have in the ones you love and/or whatever God you believe in- the more positive energy you put out there, the more people you help- the more you will be putting good vibes into the universe. All of which can only attract good things- and the bad things, well those will only help make us stronger :)
xoxo AA

Luck be a Lady

Well folks, I'm back. If you are wondering where I've been...last week was my birthday! I know that sounds like an odd phrase, but it's true. Due to the fact that I was born on Leap Year (yes, February 29th is my actual birthday, no matter what Facebook tells you), the celebration tends to extend past one day, and in many case straight on through to the weekend. Excited as ever to turn a whole 6 years old, I knew it was going to be a good one. But clearly I was unaware of how great it was going to be! This post is dedicated to all of my friends and family that genuinely made my birthday this year the best I've ever had. To many, it is the gifts that they look forward to or maybe even the cake (that dairy free gluten free cupcake was pretty damn good ;)) but to me, it is being around the people I love that matters most to me. To name a few places, last week I got the opportunity to enjoy some good ole' Southern comfort food at Neely's BBQ parlor, la pizza Italiana molta bellissima at Eatly, and some savory Cubano food at Candela Candela. Between all of the drinks and delicious meals, there was good conversation and just straight up love around the table. Beyond the love and laughter, I was even more grateful for the cards. As a child, you always leave these behind and go straight for the loot, ripping away at the wrapping paper to see the glorious gift that hides behind. But as I get older, I find that the cards are now my favorite part. From the sweet notes and compliments, to continued support and love from friends and family- I will cherish these little over-priced Hallmark beauties far beyond the life span of any of the gifts I received. And then there were the surprises- which I love and can never understand why people don't. Not only was I lucky to have my man in uniform up in the big city, but I was surrounded by all of my closest friends at dinner- and an extra special college buddy that hopped on a bus all the way from DC just to come out to dinner. I feel so blessed to have all of you in my life so if you are reading this I just wanted to say thank you for giving me such a wonderful birthday. I am going to have to get my tush over to Pinterest because your birthdays are going to be so over-planned and elaborate you will never want to throw me another party for fear of me thanking you with your own bday celebration. ;)
xoxo AA

Ah Shante!

Of course I Google-ed the meaning of my title on this one- and though I would love to say I can speak French, I do not know a lick of the most beautifully romantic language in my eyes. Full grasp of that tongue will become a life accomplishment, and I say that not because I am putting it off but because I can not yet afford the $400+ investment NYC language learning schools require. ANY WAYS back to the point here- this weekend I went to France- not quite literally of course, but experienced France in the big apple. Yet another oddly beautiful weekend here in NYC (don't worry, I bring rain/snow with my birthday tomorrow!)- I was lucky enough to get an early birthday brunch visit from my Aunt. After the typical stuff-your-face fest at Lansky's (my favorite neighborhood spot), she challenged me to walk down to Lincoln Center and back up to 75th. Normally, this is not a challenge but after running 8 miles in 45 mph winds, crawling seemed like an impossibility. Not the most profound walker herself, I tried to convince my Aunt to hop in a cab back up after Lincoln Center; and I am glad I was unable to. As we slowly made our way up in a neighborhood I thought I was so familiar with, my Aunt asked question after question- remaining bright eyed and bushy tailed after each store front we passed. Craving a little warmth, she suggested we stop into a chocolate cafe- one that is 2 blocks from my apartment that I had neither seen or heard of before. Upon stopping in, we sat down and immediately were transported into what felt like a tiny cafe in along the Chanselise complete with perfectly brewed and overly foamed cappuccino alongside tasty Nutella covered treats. As we sat there, our conversations even seemed different- like all the chaos outside had halted just for one moment while we pressed our lips to the almost too hot cups. It never ceases to amaze me that even places I thought I was familiar with in this city can bring me to a new and exciting place all over again. For the record, I have actually been to Paris and for anyone doubting my judgement out there, I of course known that 73rd and Amsterdamn is in no way comparable to 'along the Chanselise...' or is it? Is NYC the only city in the world that will allow you to go anywhere without leaving its parameters? Or is it the city and the people that you love there who are able to give you a whole new perspective on your typical surroundings? Maybe you should take a stroll down your block...you never know what you might find- and feel free to invite a loved one, they may open your eyes to something that has always been there but that you've never seen before :)
xoxo AA

Oh no you didn't

According to an recent article written by Travel and Leisure, New York City was ranked as the #1 rudest city in the US. I can't say that I'm shocked and I don't think that NYC is either because it is certainly not the 1st time we've been ranked as such or associated with the bad rep. I'm going to be honest- we can be pretty damn rude. For example, when it's 7:47 AM on a Monday morning and your train stops at Time Square 42nd St and a crowd of 7 babbling (nearly yelling) tourists board the train, shove in, and scream when the speed picks up again...yes, we can be rude. But for the most part, I think many people just don't take the time to get to know us. By no means is this a 'you' vs. 'us' thing, but for those of us that dwell here, there is this sort of secret code in place. It is as though no one knows one another here, yet we all have some sort of secret language going on. Let me give you an example. I was riding that very train mentioned above, yet at a much more manageable hour of 7ish PM and was being my normal alert self, scanning the train for any possible 'threatening' people; mainly just being aware of my surroundings. An elderly woman boarded the train and it immediately took off before she could find a seat. It was almost as if all of a sudden those of us around here had become a unit, making it our every effort to make sure she had a seat. One young boy got up, another person moved over and about 3 of us shifted in the aisle. Some light conversation was exchanged and even those light smiles/laughter that say 'yea, we got this.' Part of the perception of NYC being the rudest city is that folks who don't live here aren't necessarily giving the place a chance...or getting to know who its people really are deep down. This little old lady on the subway also got me thinking about doing things for others. Everyday we are faced with the challenge of doing what is right, whether or not it may be what we personally want. In a society that is so singularly goal focused as ours, we may find ourselves 'doing the right thing' and then not understanding why it may not feel right, or it may not be well received by our peers. At the end of the day, or at the encounter of an elderly person in need of a seat- we should be doing what is right regardless of how we thing it will make us feel or what others reactions will be. So my point in all of this? Instead of taking something personally (i.e. "I went to NYC and everyone was so rude there!") realize that your perception of another's actions can be completely different from why the person is actually do it. So get up, let that old lady sit, and put a smile on your face! Not being rude may be easy but I dare you to challenge yourself to continually try to do the right thing everyday- regardless :)
xoxo AA

Follow the Passion Brick Road

I heard something interesting at church last night that I wanted to share. The lead Pastor was in from Australia and though I went with high expectations, I wasn't necessarily blown away at the time- until his message started effecting me today. The overarching idea was how God is obsessed with making our lives great. For you non-religious folk out there, one of the most important components of his message was that we should "live with purpose, doing things in our everyday lives with passion, not a sense of obligation." I have not been able to shake that line off my mind all day...
When you find yourself in a place 8 hours out of the day not feeling necessarily 'inspired' or like you are not giving back to the greater good, your next logical step should be to find a new gig. But his message started to make me wonder, as a young person- how in the hell do you know what that is?! Yes of course we can all apply to different jobs, go to school, ask friends/family for advice, etc. but with so little real world life experience how are we supposed to be able to find that one thing that we feel passionate about and are happy to do everyday. The Christian in me says to 'trust God' with those doubts, because according to our beliefs, he is ultimately guiding us to where we belong. Of course I truly believe that in my heart- but in the mean time, what does one do until they feel like they have started doing that 1 thing during their 8 hours/day that they know is right for them? And on the road to getting there, are we just wasting our time? As I write this I realize NO- because without those steps on our journey (whether or not there is passion in them) we are learning lessons that will allow us to get to that ultimate goal. Without them, I don't think we would be able to arrive at a place of passion, and not obligation. So the point being here (and maybe this is more for me than any of you) is to realize that the things we sometimes perceive as obligations are helping us to get 1 step closer to our passions every single day. My plan is to walk on, with a big smile on my face :)
xoxo AA

"Could you be loved and be loved"-Bob Marley

You knew I was going to go for it, and in fact you're wrong. I meant to write this post last night but got caught up so it JUST SO HAPPENS that today is Valentine's day and wanted to spit some words about love haha. Love in relation to my favorite topic as always- family- can definitely be a mixed bag. I know I have talked a lot about forgiveness, family feuds over the holidays, so on and so forth- but this weekend I realized I am actually starting to learn something from all of this. My family came into NYC to meet my man in uniform for the 1st time. The 2 of us felt as cool as pickled (lol) cucumbers the entire time (mainly because- we are happy with each other and at the end of the day- that's all that matters) but I was still curious to see how the interactions would go. Oddly enough, the encounter seemed to actually bring my family and I closer to one another. There was no 'girl searches for parental approval' because I felt confident and happy just being around everyone, comfortable with the life I had made for myself. The point of this story is that when you love someone, you begin to realize how they can positively effect parts of your life you didn't know they could. It was our meeting with the fam Sunday morning that seemed to have improved the rest of my day with the clan alone. It was as if this new person had given all of us a fresh perspective on what it means to just be around each other, enjoying one another's company. Please understand that I am not giving my man all props here, what I am trying to say is that when you bring an outsider into what you think is a rather sticky situation, their presence allows all parties involved to have a different perspective on what's really going on. So this Valentine's day- whether you are a hater, a lover, missing your lover, love someone who doesn't know it, or have more than one lover- just spread the damn love. You never know how much love it can spread into other areas of your life :)
xoxo AA

LOST: Newspaper man. FOUND: fun?

Folks, today a terrible thing happened!! I have written before about how we tend to get used to the people we see everyday but don't actually know personally. It is a concept I learned about through my intensive communications studies in college (most of which generally entailed wine tasting in the library haha), and involves those people we say 'good morning!' to on our way into work, or a Starbucks Barista that always knows your drink. Though most of us have no real relationship with these individuals, a certain level of emotional attachment is formed because they become apart of our daily routine. WELL THIS MORNING my newspaper guy who hands out free trash stories to view on the ride in WAS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. On top of that, Friday happens to be our best encounter of the week because he always tells me to "have a blessed weekend, dear." But now what?! No farewell wishes, no nice send offs, nothing! This experience made me realize 2 things. First, I definitely take value in the daily encounters I have with people I don't know because their simple acts and words of kindness always tend to put a smile on my face. Second, why is it that we always leave all the good stuff for the weekends? Granted- I do love mister newspaper's send off every morning, but Friday's are all that much better. And when I really though about it, all of my favorite activities are scheduled only for the weekends! Going out with friends, eating oh-so-good bad food, seeing my man in uniform ;), and even my best workouts all occur on Fri/Sat/Sun. Do you think we would all enjoy the week just a little bit more if some of the weekend fun was sprinkled in mid-week? Maybe the grind would seem, well, less gridey. Two points being here- one, someone give me my newspaper man back! But seriously, a continual life lesson that began for me at a relatively young age: never take someone for granted because you never know how quickly they can be taken away from you. And two- sprinkle some of the weekend goodness into the week! I am going to make every effort to go to a movie mid-week next week, and maybe even eat something that is loaded with calories and fat...but gives me a sweet taste of life :)
xoxo AA

Subway car half full or half empty?

As many of you know, today is a glorious day for us New Yorkers as our GMEN take a victory stroll down the Canyon of Hero's celebrating their domination over the Pats in the Super Bowl this past Sunday. With the overflow of newly added 'commuters' this morning I realized I was less than excited about the parade- I was semi-annoyed. I thought to myself that if i too had the day off from school and got to go to the parade my perception might be different. But trying to make my way through the mess of red and blue, most of which I envied for probably having had Bailey's in their coffee(s) this morning, seemed more of a challenge the the usual ride in to work. Recognizing my stinky attitude I made a conscious effort to get rid of it...but just could not shake it. As always in my life, someone crossed my path who made me step back and realize how easy it is to just smile and enjoy. It happened when I was dropping off coffee for some clients and just observed for a few minutes how nice everyone was in the whole office to the receptionist. People walked by, smiling, saying hello, asking how her weekend was and with each person, she put some genuine love and soul into her responses. Overwhelmed by her positive energy I blurted out "everyone just loves you here, don't they?" True to form she responded "it's a whole lot easier goin' through life being nice to everyone, smiling and laughing- it just makes everyone happier." And here my friends, was another OMG life moment- while I spend my morning sifting through happy fans (like a drawer of mismatched smelly gym socks), I could have been smiling right alongside them, rooting for our NY Giants whether or not I was going to the parade. The fact that we won, and are lucky enough to have so many people come to our great city and celebrate- is really a blessing, not an annoyance. Anyways, by the end of my conversation with the receptionist she thanked me for stopping by to drop off coffee (mind you I didn't get her anything)- so I just wanted to say thank you to her, for helping me to see that my subway car was half full this morning...of some crazy NY fans :)
xoxo AA

Forgive, Forget, or just Forgo

I have been curious about this topic for quite sometime so here goes nothin! Keep in mind that this post is not about 1 person or situation in particular, but rather me just trying to figure out another aspect of this great thing we call life. How do you forgive, forget, or do both? I realized that me asking this question in a blog post is clearly rhetorical in nature but think about it. When someone does you wrong, throws ya under the bus, or just acts like a stinky person in general- what is the right thing to do? As a Christian (and always general believer in Jesus) I have continually been taught to forgive and pray for those that have done me wrong.  But when it comes down to it, the reality of the situation, I find it hard to believe that all of us are little saints running around forgiving each other every time a situation goes sour. And to that point, what happens if the situation isn't a 1 time deal. I'm talking about someone you've continually butt heads with and can't seem to meet somewhere in the middle. If someone has truly done you wrong, how do you know they won't do it again...and if you have forgiven them before, and they've done it again, then where do you go from there? In my opinion, if you are simply friends with someone (i.e. no real emotional attachment) and they do you wrong, then you can simply deduce that they are just not the greatest person and that you should probably not have them on you 'emergency contact list' let alone in your life. But what if it is someone you love? We all know the saying "you can pick your nose but you can't pick your family" (keep in mind my use of the word family umbrellas friends that I consider family) so does that mean we are stuck with the way these people treat us? I think after hashing this out in the most literal way I have come to a conclusion. If you love someone, and they've done you wrong- you need take a step back and deep look at the situation. If you are the antagonist, then you've got some things to work on. But if the other person seems to be the continual antagonist, then there is a pretty good chance they are going through something (just like you might have been if you were the antagonist) and could quite possibly be taking it out on you. Again...if you love them, I think you need to let them be. I am sure that once they come around (no matter how long it takes) if your love for them is eternal, you will be able to forgive. So to answer my own question- I think we need to forgive, never forget (otherwise we are allowing ourselves to ignore bad behavior) and maybe forgo just for a while...just until that person is ready for you to love them up again :)
xoxo AA