Forgive, Forget, or just Forgo

I have been curious about this topic for quite sometime so here goes nothin! Keep in mind that this post is not about 1 person or situation in particular, but rather me just trying to figure out another aspect of this great thing we call life. How do you forgive, forget, or do both? I realized that me asking this question in a blog post is clearly rhetorical in nature but think about it. When someone does you wrong, throws ya under the bus, or just acts like a stinky person in general- what is the right thing to do? As a Christian (and always general believer in Jesus) I have continually been taught to forgive and pray for those that have done me wrong.  But when it comes down to it, the reality of the situation, I find it hard to believe that all of us are little saints running around forgiving each other every time a situation goes sour. And to that point, what happens if the situation isn't a 1 time deal. I'm talking about someone you've continually butt heads with and can't seem to meet somewhere in the middle. If someone has truly done you wrong, how do you know they won't do it again...and if you have forgiven them before, and they've done it again, then where do you go from there? In my opinion, if you are simply friends with someone (i.e. no real emotional attachment) and they do you wrong, then you can simply deduce that they are just not the greatest person and that you should probably not have them on you 'emergency contact list' let alone in your life. But what if it is someone you love? We all know the saying "you can pick your nose but you can't pick your family" (keep in mind my use of the word family umbrellas friends that I consider family) so does that mean we are stuck with the way these people treat us? I think after hashing this out in the most literal way I have come to a conclusion. If you love someone, and they've done you wrong- you need take a step back and deep look at the situation. If you are the antagonist, then you've got some things to work on. But if the other person seems to be the continual antagonist, then there is a pretty good chance they are going through something (just like you might have been if you were the antagonist) and could quite possibly be taking it out on you. Again...if you love them, I think you need to let them be. I am sure that once they come around (no matter how long it takes) if your love for them is eternal, you will be able to forgive. So to answer my own question- I think we need to forgive, never forget (otherwise we are allowing ourselves to ignore bad behavior) and maybe forgo just for a while...just until that person is ready for you to love them up again :)
xoxo AA

Where Brooklyn At?

Another lovely weekend here in the big apple- me and ma gurl (roomie, partner in crime...and co-worker hehe) decided to go on yet another adventure. To where you ask? The BK, no not the Burger King Lounge- yes, we went to Brooklyn. To most, this doesn't sound like a big deal and to others, don't hate but when it comes to the boroughs I am definitely a Manhattan girl (unless of course it's to granmother's house I go to Queens most Sundays). Having lived here for a year and half I will admit that I have never walked over the BK bridge; I know, such a sin. With a pep in our step and the sun shining we took the 1.34 mile walk over the bridge. Through the wind, we were able to enjoy the beautiful views and mildly fresh air. Once landing in our destination, we felt like fish out of water and quickly became lost. Somewhere between Brooklyn Heights and Schermerhorn (not only a sweet St. name in BK but apparently a well-known wealthy family from back in the day, according to Gangs of NY) we realized that once exploring outside the city walls things seemed very different. As a person who is always down for adventure, I was a bit bothered by how helpless I felt just because we had left the main island. And on top of that, I felt as if we stuck out...like everyone could secretly tell "we" were from Manhattan and "they" were from Brooklyn. In a huge city with 5 great boroughs, why does it always seem to turn into a "we" vs. "they" scenario? For all of the comradery NYC is known for- the bright lights, long nights, city of dreams- why is it that we sometimes seem so divided culturally when we only are geographically? Once we posted up at a great bar (Barcade = American craft beer and 1980s video games- a man's dream? I think yes, and mine too!) I started looking around at the other boozing gamers. We all seemed pretty similar, even if we dressed differently or maybe even spoke differently. We were all there for one thing- to have some good old Saturday afternoon American fun. I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy when our subway made the cross over back into Manhattan later in the evening- but if anything, I felt like Brooklyn taught me something. Not only how to better use a map, but to also live and let free. Sometimes its nice to take in a deep breath of semi-fresh air, post up next a few hipsters at a bar, or just do your own thing. I hope that this BK Manhattan rivalry doesn't last for ever- but even if it does, at least we can all learn a little something from each other...and having a new experience every now and then :)
xoxo AA

"Mentors N Stuff" - Deadmau5

In the past 24 hours, I have been lucky enough to experience something that I wanted to share with all of you in hopes that you too will make it a goal to find a mentor. Mine being both of my former bosses, are not 2 people that I don't chat with all the time- mainly because of work/life schedules, but I have a high level of respect for both of them and know they will always be there if I need them. If ever you find yourself caught in a professional sh** storm in your mind, these are the peeps you should be able to reach out to that will help you clear the squall, or at least temporarily offer you an umbrella. Mine have very different POVs on life and offer the perfect mix of perspectives. After speaking with both- they enabled me to take a step back and really focus on developing a step-by-step approach to not only finding professional success but happiness. When taking an outsiders perspective into account, one will realize how differently a situation appears when you are not stuck in the thick of it all. In the end, I was lucky enough to be given a fresh new attitude and a plan of attack for my short/long term goals (which seemed to be tangled like that old necklace in your jewelry box that you haven't worn in 4 years). With that, I experienced what felt like my 1st ever business lunch this afternoon, where I had an intelligent and engaging conversation with clients; as appose to just entertaining them. As for what the future holds, I think that with my mentors advice I will be lucky to have many new and exciting experiences and opportunities. So thank you! And if you don't have a mentor, find yourself 1...or 2; their advice could help guide your professional career as you come to know it :)
xoxo AA

Sales...need I say more?

Ya know, I am semi annoyed about this post because I had been thinking all morning about how I wanted to write about happiness and gratefulness and smiles...my usual positive spin. But now, I must tell you about another ridiculous day-in-the-life-of, and it's only 11:08 AM. To put a little happiness into perspective here, this week I decided I was going to wake up everyday and thank God for allowing me to see another day. I usually thank him at night or during the day when something great happens but this week I decided to say it before anything even happened in my day. Additionally, I decided I was going to start to thank God when challenges crossed my path- thanking Him for allowing me to grow and learn from these experience. So as I hopped in a cab to a sales call this morning, I was in a particularly good mood. Smiling at the cab driver, that random dude on the corner...basically anyone. And it worked, because my cab driver was super chatty and nice. Anyways, I reach my destination but can't seem to find my meet-e. After a solid 25 minutes of him saying he was in Starbucks, and then back at his office, and then somewhere in between- I came to a realization. He was in CHICAGO...yes folks, I set up an in person meeting with someone that lives in CHICAGO. Have I mentioned that I live in NYC?! The woman at Starbucks felt so bad that I ordered coffee for a non-existent East Coaster that she gave me a free Starbucks card. So- moral of the story, thank you God for allowing me to wake up and experience the challenges of the day- because quite frankly today's was silly and hilarious haha. And thank you to my meet-e for having a kind heart and a good sense of humor ;)
xoxo AA

Loyalty, friendship, and a whole lotta laughs

This weekend I took a trip down to Annapolis to see my man in uniform and had another wonderful time. Last trip down to Maryland, I posted about the general feeling of patriotism and pride I had experienced. Now on my second trip down, I started to get a more personal experience with the city and its dwellers; specifically the other Naval Academy students. Especially in my man's close group of friends. As I have said before, I am used to hanging out with guys, in fact I prefer it. But this weekend I saw something different in this group of dudes. Sure, the same funny antics were present, with the majority of conversations being about the opposite sex, partying...and the opposite sex. But there was also a certain level of respect present, not only for me but for themselves. When you are dating someone, you want to feel accepted into their group not as just someone's girlfriend, but as an actual person...and I was lucky enough to experience just that. It was refreshing to encounter members of a tight knit group inquire about me and ask questions that were not just on the surface. I also noticed that no matter what, it seemed as though these guys had each others back. And to that point, also held one another accountable for their actions. I of course have the best one  :) but it made me realize how important friendship is in a man's life, or anyone's life for that matter. After a great weekend with this group, I was not only grateful for my experience but was given a fresh perception on the relationships I have with my girlfriends in NYC. It made me realize how important these ladies are to me, and that even though we may deal with situations differently than our male counter parts (i.e. emotional logic vs. problem solving logic) we too are always there in the end for one another. So thank you to my Navy man and his friends, for taking me in as one of your own this weekend! And to my girls here, I am so lucky to have you :)
- xoxo AA

What Stuff Means

To many of you that are older than me (which is most of my friends in NYC) I am going to sound like a youngin' right now- but this weekend I finally moved all of my stuff out of my dad's house. Being in a small city apartment I never had the space for everything but I felt as if this 'coming of age' was long over due. Giving myself 1 hour- I was forced to make split decisions on everything I owned- asking myself as I tossed each item, "Have I used this in the past year? Can someone use this more than more?" Toss, done and done. At the time it felt great- as I packed up the car of bags for the Goodwill I started to realize that in essence, I was throwing my childhood away. Not literally, but- all of the stuff that I don't use on a daily basis but kept for pure emotional attachment- was gone. As I dropped the bags off and drove away, I felt very free. Free because someone who needed this stuff would have much more use for it than I did. But I got to thinking on my drive back into the city with what seemed like my whole childhood past packed into 3 large boxes- why is it that we attach emotions to inanimate objects? If all of this 'stuff' is so easily purchased, used, and transferable to another person- why does it seem like we are giving the memories away with them once they are no longer our possessions? In reality, it seems as though we should be associating memories with the people we made them with. The friends and family, the laughs, the experiences themselves. When my Zippy car and I finally made it back to the big apple I decided to do some digging. The next night, I took the time to go through all of my belongs that had survived by brutal 'American Idol' status judgement and realized that I had all the stuff I needed with me. It was nice to be able to look through old picture albums, cards, and sports clothes. But as I pushed the boxs of stuff under my bed (to be opened, I don't when again) I felt good about what I had done. Looking at the pictures I was able to see that the memories I had built in the past 23 years in my life were not about all the old stuff, but about how I felt with the people in those pictures. And it made me excited to make new memories and build upon my already wonderful collection. Spring cleaning in mid-winter? I think yes...certainly does the soul some good :)
xoxo AA

Get Freaky- It's Friday the 13th People!!

Come on folks, you know I had to go for this one. Especially those of you who know me well- as much as I hate to admit it I am fairly superstitious. And today I found out why the day is supposed to be unlucky, making the idea of this doom's day even freakier! It all started when Judas (yea, that dude who betrayed Jesus) showed up as the final attendee to the Last Super, making him the 13th guest. On top of that, Jesus died on  Friday so the combination of 13 and Friday is not a good one from a Christian standpoint. For you non-believers, 2012 will hold 3 Friday the 13th's this year...that is the most that can occur in 1 calendar year. SOMEONE TURN THE LIGHTS ON I AM LOOSING IT!! And I know I am not the only one here- I have seen many elevators sans the 13th floor option, and in Italy the number between 12 and 14 is actually called 12.5, and no it's not like Platform 9 3/4 in Harry Potter (I know my man in uniform may have had that one on his mind- HERE IS YOUR SHOUT OUT lol). There is even a diagnosable fear of Friday the 13th called friggatriskaidekaphobia...and apparently millions of people in the US have it. So what is really going on here? Have we been conditioned to believe in something that seems to have become more of a tradition than an actual 'unlucky day.' For those of you who believe in this day due to religious regions, I have no argument to vouch against you. But for the rest of us, why do we give into this sort of thing? For people who claim not to- I am sure that fact that today was Friday and the 13th must have crossed your mind at some point- or at least the media reminded (if not, well then you're living under a rock). Those of you like myself may be extra cautious, not making any travel plans or truly deviating from the norm. Is it possible that whatever you put out into the universe is what you ultimately get back? Though I admit to being superstitious, I do more generally believe in the concept of positive attraction. If you haven't read the book "The Secret" I recommend you do. It is short and sweet and opens your mind to a theory that just seems to make sense. Think about it- if you decide to be in a bad mood from the moment you wake up- that is what will carry your actions, interactions, and experience throughout the day. Where as if you decide to have a positive attitude when you step out the door, experiences are going to be attracted to you by a very different means. So that one time a bird decided to unload on your shoulder during the walk to work, your perception on a positive day might be "great, this is good luck!" as opposed to "crap, there goes my outfit for my big meeting." I dare you to try this theory of positive attraction out and see if it works- you might be pleasantly surprised. As far as myself is concerned, I am going to grab a Guinness to celebrate to TGIF and hope to not get struck by lightening on the way (family and friends- not to worry, it is no longer storming in the city) :)
xoxo AA

Thank you to MSN.com for providing some of the facts used above.

"Friends, CLIENTS, or...nothing?"- John Mayer

This Sunday I was lucky enough to take some clients to the Giants vs. Falcons playoff game. Please keep in mind my use of the word 'clients.' The morning started off quite well, picked up the rental car, food, beer, and 1 of the bravest travelers along our journey. Heading into NJ, tunes blasting and our perfect Dunkin Donouts orders in hand (after some serious struggling for non-fat, decaf, non-dairy NYC orders that are not too highly accepted over the border) and ready for the day. Making it to the the stadium early, we figured, what the heck- we definitely have enough time to grab some vodka for the early morning Bloody Mary's. 2 HOURS LATER AND SANS THE VODKA...we were lost in Harrison, NJ. Beautiful area, but not where the GMEN were- oh and also, not sure if you are aware but you cannot purchase hard alcohol before 12:00 PM on a Sunday in NY or NJ...wish I would have known that earlier. Thank goodness my fearless passenger found all of this to be comical, or at least she made it seem as such. FINALLY making it to the game (not before 1st of course figuring out how to pay for cash only parking with only a credit card- and 2 miles away from the stadium) we met up with the other gals and headed straight to the bar. There, after a celebratory shot for actually making it into the game- the 4 of us girls got to chatting. After almost an hour and a full quarter, I realized that these girls were not my clients, but in the short amount of time we had spent together, started to become my friends. As we talked about careers and the media world, we discussed the difficulties of sales and how it is truly a job like no other. In a failed effort to not complain, I realized something. My experience in sales continues to teach me something about myself and the world around me everyday. And though it can be a biotch (for lack of a better term) at times, without it- I would have never gotten the opportunity to go to the Giants playoff game AND meet a small group of girls who I no longer want to call my clients, but hopefully my friends. Long story short, the game was great, we won (obviously) though I doubt the GMEN will have that sort for luck when the face the Packers in the coming days. But at the end of the day, 2 hour detour and all, I was grateful for where I was at that exact moment. It is the little things a mist all the chaos sometimes that help you realize how good you got it :)
xoxo AA

Grandma!!

This is the lovey woman, known
as Naunnie to her grand children, I have mentioned in multiple posts :)
Love you!!
Xoxo AA

You tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely...

"New York, New York," is not only known as our city's anthem, but as one of Franky Sinatra's biggest hit. He recorded it in 1979 and throughout the years had performed it as a duet with the likes of Liza Minnelli and  Tony Bennett (though my generation is probably more closely associated with Alice Keys & Jay-Z's version). The original has become such a staple in our city that it has been played over the loudspeaker at the old and new Yankee's stadiums at the end of EVERY home game. Clearly there is something great going on in NYC- so a few nights ago I decided to see take a walk through the glitz and glam. I trekked from work in midtown east to home on the upper west side. Just to put it in perspective- that's nearly 3 miles and it was 17 degrees, but I was up for the challenge! And I did not take the short route- walking through the Fashion District, Times Square, Columbus Circle, and then finally Lincoln Center (no east side stops for this west-sider!) I felt like I saw it all. But I started to realize something as the wind tried to tear through my sleeping bag-like coat; the general perception of NYC seems to be this fast paced paced, bright lights, "see your dreams come to life" sort of notion. But can NYC be judged solely on its looks? And does the way NYC look or appear to others a truly represent what it is really like here? Granted, the areas I walked through most certainly fill all of the criteria for the descriptions above, but as a New Yorker, I almost never see those areas and quite frankly usually try to avoid them at all costs. So the real New York, where financial types work in Wall St. and media folk enjoy an over-priced cocktail in the East Village- are those 'local' places glitzy and glam filled too? My answer is yes, but in a completely different way. The glitz and glam of the New York that I saw on my walk is not the same as it is in the local spots. In places like Time Square, it is loud, in your face and bright- you can't miss the feelings of happiness and inspiration when you're there because they are made so apparent to the consumer. But in local places, such as hidden speak-easy bars or up-scale banker lunch spots, the glitz and glam is a little more subdued...and not free. This sort of secret glam isn't always readily available to everyone and once you 'made it into that cool bar' or seen a 'celebrity out' you begin to realize that there are 2 completely different New Yorks. Though I must admit that I have been that media type who pays for ONE of the over-priced cocktails in the East Village, I enjoyed my walk through the tourist filled areas the other night. It is the perception of those well known places that drove me here in the 1st place, right? But now that I am here and see what it is all really about- the beauty of the glitz and glam seems a little tainted. Realizing that the glitz and glam is no longer free once you live here, can sometimes be a little disheartening (like when you see a beautiful woman, and come to find out she's paid for a lot of those 'great looking features'). And I also wonder, can these feelings of dream making and inspiration be experienced in other cities? I think a lot of it is all a matter of perception, but I am truly not quite sure! As always though, I am curious to find out :)
xoxo AA

Blessed and Grateful

BACK TO THE GRIND!! Everyone as excited as I am to be back at work? No really though- there is something nice about getting back into the grove and habit of things. Plus I think the majority of us would not appreciate our vacations as much if life was one big vacation- I for one would be bored as hell after 2 weeks. Anyways- I just wanted to write a quick post as I enjoy the truly delectable Trader Joe's dairy/gluten-free enchiladas (you've gotta try them once- they actually are good), and say how grateful I am. I know I have written posts in the past discussing my ideas on the definition of 'family,' etc. but this weekend I was able to experience- on 2 accounts, spending time with friend's families. On both occasions, I was welcomed in with warm open arms and made to feel apart of the family. For a gal with a unique family atmosphere, I have to say I am so blessed in the sense to really be apart of more than one family. And even the small interpersonal families we create on our own with 1 or 2 non-immediate members, can feel all the more special. So today, I just wanted to say thank you to the families and special members of my own family that over the years have accepted me as one of their own! I not only wish you a happy and healthy New Year, but hope that 1 day my own family and I can return the favor :)
xoxo AA

In an Open Relationship...with NYC

Yes folks, NYC and I have been in a relationship for quite sometime now. For the majority of our courtship, he has been pretty good to me- makes me laugh, smile, and is always surprising me with new and exciting adventures and restaurants. But I will admit that recently, we have been going through a rough patch (haha). Seriously though, being in NYC, as many of you know even just from visiting, is an intense experience- and sometimes the excessive horn honking and other various street noises can get to you. In a sub-conscious search to rekindle the flame in my relationship with the big city this week, I went on a few adventures in the big apple. It all began when I made a pit stop in Harlem earlier in the week. Though it was mid-day, I was still apprehensive walking the streets because being a tall blonde, I clearly stick out like a sore thumb. But I noticed something as I quickly trekked to my destination- everyone there seems to know each other. The encounters between passerbys went past simple niceties- people were referring to each other by name, inquiring about personal matters with engaging questions that went past the typical "how are you?" It got me thinking- in a place that sometimes gets a bad rap, is the heart of the community made strong by the relationships amongst its residence? Maybe we can learn a thing or 2 from this tough neighborhood. In a completely different section of the city and days later, I helped a friend move from 1 apartment to another on the Lower East Side of town. Maybe it was the beautiful sunny day we got, or the fact that the movers literally did everything and my job was to "watch the van" but I fell in love all over again with the city. Being in a hood that I am not accustom to yet again, my eyes were opened to 1 of my favorite things about NYC. The comfort of being able to literally be whom ever you wish to be while no one around you gives a damn what you do. As I stood perched at my post outside the van, my friend and I essentially had a make-shift dance party in the streets. Instead of weird looks, we got people rooting for us (depending upon which dance move we selected ;)) and I know that old dude that walked by with a table was dying to join in. And finally last night, my relationship with the city got right back to where it always was with 1 final great 2011 moment. Getting turned away at our venue for NYE celebrations due to our early arrival (yes, we were overtly punctual- so odd) we made our way to a small dive bar. Sitting at the bar for only about 30 minutes, we met the owner and learned the story of the bartender and his bar. Built in 1886 (yes folks, I think this joint is pre-war) this bar used to frequent the likes of the blue collar men- hard laborers, and there usually couldn't be a woman found in the whole place. The bartender himself comes straight from Dublin but hasn't been back in 12 years. He is finally making the trip to his homeland on Jan 6th. By the end of our conversation, he was on our side of the bar showing us photos of his friends, family, and adorable dog. At the culmination of my week- I learned that re-exploring a place or a thing that you thought you knew so well or maybe even began to take for granted, can be one of the best things for the soul. During my 'staycation' in the city, I not only learned about new places and cultures, but about myself. So today if you are scrounging around for #5 on your list of New Years resolutions, I vote for adding "Take an Adventure" and maybe get to know someone or something better than you think you already do- you may fall in love all over again :)
xoxo AA