Closing in on one of the best years of my life

It is New Years Eve! And the final day in 2014 - I can hardly believe it. While most of us will be putting on our pretty party dresses, sparkly tights, and grabbing a glass of bubbly - many others of us will be reflecting on the past year. Whether it's to a loved one, via a Facebook post, in a journal, or on a blog (hello, and welcome to my version of a diary) - deep reflection of the last 364 days can be a healthy and useful habit for the heart, mind, and year ahead. So this year, instead of looking ahead with resolutions and goals - I have 1 comment about the 2015 and a complete reflection of 2014. I am sure you'll start to see my goals up on my blog as we get into the nitty gritty of 2015 - sometimes sharing makes me feel more accountable ;)

2015- I started my resolutions (I dislike that word - let's call them annual life goals) a week ago. I was putting so much pressure on 1/1/15, which by the way falls on a Thursday off from work = no motivation. I figured if I wanted to change areas of my life, why not start now? Why wait until 1/1 or 1/5 (a Monday when I might have 10% more motivation) and set myself up for failure? If it was in my heart a week before the 1st of January to add/remove/change something in my life -  now was the time to start! I think this is something extremely important to remember about resolutions, life goals, whatever you want to call them. If you want something - go after it NOW. What are you waiting for? There will never be a more perfect time in your life when you're less busy, in a better place, etc. etc. I am by no means saying start something before you want to/are called to - but if it's in your heart don't deprive yourself! The time is NOW! Take that, 1/1/15…

A reflection on 2014 - this year…

1. I started a new job working from home! It has enabled me to spend so much more time with my husband, do something I love much more frequently (which is healthy cooking in the kitchen), and enabled me to focus more on work and less on idle political items that lend themselves to an office environment. I am so beyond grateful for this opportunity and for my friend Rochelle for taking a chance on me - it has changed my entire life and love your for it.
2. I traveled to Chicago for the 1st time! And boy was it cold. But looking back it didn't matter - I was able to see one of my very best friends in what I think was a time we needed to be together most. And yes, we even got to see the Cloud Gate and the view from the top of the Willis Tower! Though Chicago fought me with its 2 degree weather, a stomach bug, and a little travel struggle - I am grateful for my experience there. And plan to visit again during their 100 days of summer next time ;)
3. I tried 20 yoga classes in 30 days! I ended up with 16/20 classes and no regrets (also with a mild case of tennis elbow? thank you a thousand chaturangas and downward facing dogs). This experience changed my entire outlook on yoga - bringing to light the idea that incorporating yoga practice into my daily life (no matter how many times I go to class a week) made me more mindful, peaceful, and grateful. And it made me want to show up on my mat and bring friends to join the crowd as often as I could. I didn't do it because I felt I had to - but because I wanted to. This year, yoga went from an exercise class to a life practice for me - and for that I am tremendously grateful to my friend Katie who first invited me to step foot into that sauna of a classroom :)
4. We got engaged! I could write 35,546 blog posts on my overwhelming feelings about getting engaged this year. The immense feeling of love, support, excitement, deep togetherness, and care that I have with and for the man of my dreams who dropped down and asked me to spend the rest of our lives together this year!!!! I am beyond blessed and grateful forever and ever for this moment together and all of the congratulations/love/support we received from family and friends.
5. Drew hit a huge accomplishment! Without going into detail, I will say that I am so proud of the guy I met at a bar in NYC and the man he is. Also, big life events call for big family gatherings - and to have both my and his family here in San Diego together celebrating one of our own, was an unbelievable feeling. Togetherness was certainly a theme in our lives this year and we are so grateful for all of the love and support from our family and friends.
6. We moved! I just have to put this one on here (and you'll start to notice a theme) because myself and my 2 sister wives who I have endless thank yous to radiate to for the remainder of my existence - did this on our own for the most part. There were tons of other people (including males) who helped to make this happen but it was pretty damn empowering that 3 women joined by friendship could move all of my crap, and all of my husbands crap - into a new house in a matter of 3 days. 
7. Deployment! We did it! And though it wasn't the longest or most difficult of deployments by some military standard, I personally feel accomplished in this experience. The big scary elephant that had been hanging out in the garage for far too long (his name is Deployment) came front and center in our lives this year and we conquered him. This would have been impossible without the love and support from my sister wives, family, friends, and the smiling people on base at the supermarket (seriously). I feel again empowered that you can do anything you set your mind to - and that experiences only have feelings associated with them that you allow. Don't just accept and assign fear/anxiety/sadness to an experience because everyone else says that's what it is. Figure it out for yourself and enter into each experience with a clean set of expectations. 
8. We had a wedding :) This was no joke the most magical, unreal, overwhelming, exciting, and heart filled 24 hours of my life!! We cannot thank our family and friends enough for all of their love, support, travel near and far, and outpouring of gifts and well wishes for the future. Every detail of the day was more perfect than I could have ever conjured up in my over planning mind. I feel like I got actual time with every single 1 of our 122 guests. I loved my dress. I loved having 10 bridesmaids. I love getting married outside after sunset. And most importantly- I loved seeing my man standing at the end of that isle waiting for me as I walked towards him. Seeing his smiling face back at me made every single dollar, detail, and distress worth it - I truly was blessed to marry the man of my dream this year.
9. We went to Hawaii! I am including this one because it was on my vision board and it happened!! Thanks to gracious gifts from family this dream was able to come true. And boy did we enjoy it - from hiking through a bamboo forest through a river and up to a waterfall, to 45 ft cliff diving, to swimming alongside sea turtles, to being at the top of an old volcano at sunrise then biking 28 miles down to the bottom - our hearts were full of the amazing natural beauty this wonderful place has to offer. And we got to experience all of these adventures together - making memories I will cherish for as long as I live :)
10. We had our 1st Christmas together as husband and wife :) First off I'd like to thank my parents for pulling off Santa for nearly 12 years in our household (yes, I'll admit that haha). It is extremely difficult to keep secrets and surprises!! With all the excitement of the year we were excited to stay at home base for the holiday - but part of me wondered if we would long for family and friends. We missed you all of course - but boy did we make it a magical day!! To celebrate the joy of Christmas together (I'm lucky he's even home for Christmas) and to be able to share that with folks at the local shelter and friends here - was magnificent. We will of course be going to see my old boyfriend NYC next year, and a trip to Dallas too :) but I could't be more grateful for how perfect this year was.

When we shift our focus to reflect on what we are grateful for NOW instead of bypassing right over it all and onto 2015, we set ourselves up for success in the new year. Half of goal setting is realizing how many goals (big or small!) you've already accomplished. How many great life experiences you've already been fortunate enough to have! Reflecting on these moments enables us to be filled with gratitude - and a happy heart. So that when we are ready to look forward to 2015 - we come from a place of confidence and love. I am so grateful to be able to say I had the best 2014 a girl could not even have pictured in her wildest dreams. I am so excited for continued love, excitement, and happiness in this great world in 2015 :)

xoxo, 

- AM ;)

Where do you go, my lovely?

Hello out there world! I hope things have just been splendid since we last spoke. I am in a funny spot and had to quickly share my thoughts - curious if any of you have ever felt this way. Have you ever found yourself at a complete cross roads? I feel like that happens to a lot of people on the holidays - all the planning, running around, shopping, baking, envelope addressing. And then you arrive - poof, how did I get here? You find yourself wondering: "Did I miss anything along the way? Is there where I should be? Where am I headed?" I am sure a good many of my family members (new and old) would say that this is how a bride feels after her wedding - after all of the excitement is over, you hit the ground. But I don't feel like I ever left the ground - now instead of just standing my ground, I feel like I am lying on it. Wondering where to get up and go. In life, we sometimes find ourselves in the steady arcadian rhythm of daily life. Going to and doing whatever it takes to get day by day. When we finally stop and look at the big picture - what happens if we see nothing? I am going to be an optimist tonight and take that blank space as a fresh canvas - a new place to start. Sometimes blank lets us start from a place we've never come from before. I am sure you are truly enjoying this lofty inner monologue - so to be more specific, I am talking about direction in one's personal  growth in life. Now that I am married and settled in to our new home, I am starved to do some soul searching. I am anxious to get back on the path of least traveled and dig deep - into the big picture - to see what I have to offer up and serve this great earth. Sounds like it's time to whip it the old Passion Test book again (I highly recommend it if you haven't read it). That's all for now - I'm sure I'll be back with more shortly ;)
- xoxo AA

NYR#2: Incorporate Yoga into daily life

Hello out there world! I have some exciting news in the world of yoga that I wanted to share with all of you. It's been about 6 months since I set my NYRs and I've been hard at work on all of them. I have altered my approach slightly since my last post thanks to the insights of a wonderful friend. That is - make monthly goals. Yes of course having a long term plan is essential in life - but what about the little steps we can take (your to-do list doesn't count) each month to get us to the trophy? So since I last checked in on the progress of my NYRs - I decided to take yoga on the monthly level to try out this new approach…and I failed - thankfully! I may be confusing you right now, so listen up. I set a goal to do 20 yoga classes in 30 days (or 1 month). I figured - a few 4 class weeks here and a few 3 class weeks there and I'd be done. I was wrong - it was horrible. You have to understand my backstory with yoga - my 1st class was in a basement room of NYSC in 2011, the morning after a long night out enjoying all that NYC had to offer - and I was terrible. Awful. Promised myself I would never go back again. I had a few dabblings again between then and now but flash forward from my 1st class to January of 2013 - my 1st official full year living in California. I decided now that I lived on the West Coast, I was going to try on this West Coast lifestyle for a bit. A lovely encouraging friend from work named Katie finally dragged me to class with her after I blew her off at least 4 times. I was intimated, hot, scared, and as far from Gumby flexible as possible. But I went, I stayed, and I didn't hate it! So I tried a free week at the studio, then signed up for their Groupon deal, then became a member. Within a matter of months I had forced myself out of my comfort zone and onto my mat - and I was pretty happy about it.

Now onto January 2014, when this yoga NYR was made - I had been doing yoga for a year at that point but wanted more, wanted to really make something out of my practice. That's when the 20 classes in 30 days happen. The reason it was miserable? Not only were my elbows tender and burning with pain, but I felt as though the challenge had ruined yoga for me. I made it to 16/20 classes - which is not half bad, but not the point. I realized that in this challenge, I loved yoga, and that I didn't need to check a certain number of classes off of a list to incorporate it into my daily life. That was the good news that came out of this whole NYR and challenge - I had finally realized my love of yoga had nothing to do with how frequently I showed up on my mat, but rather how frequently I could take what I learned in class off my mat. And that truly it is the goal of yoga.

Since then, I've shown up on my mat no more than 2 or 3 days each week, and when I am not in my practice, you bet damn sure I am trying to make sure my mind is. In other workout classes, I push myself knowing I am strong and I can finish just like my yogis tell me. I catch myself tightening my core to fix my posture, reminding myself that this will help me get dolphin pose next time. And in times of stress or frustration, I remind myself to breath, and to focus my attention on only those things that serve and do good in my life and the lives of others. Am I perfect? Absolutely not - but that's when you'll find me back on my mat, seeking more. And when I am on my mat now, I don't take my time for granted or try to check the class off the list. I am present, I am aware, and I am there because I know that 1 hour will push me to insert all the good yoga has to offer into all of the other parts of my life.

xoxo and Namaste ;) - AA

NYR #1- Don't Make Loved Ones into Enemies…Nailed it!

Happy Monday everyone- and I truly hope it is- especially for my east coast friends/family as you enter into another frigid few days; the invitation to visit is always open. :) Anyways, I am writing to report back on my 1st NYR- not making friends/family into enemies during conflict. I am excited to report that I think I've gotten over the hump- of course there will always be set backs and roadblocks but I think I have finally begun to work on mastering this one. I won't lie- about a week ago I felt like I was slipping far away from working on this resolution. I lost sight of rational thought, got confused, and let my emotions get the best of me (damn it). Having experienced this 'speed bump' I made it my mission over the next week that if conflict or disagreement arose in any situation I would follow a series of steps, sticking to them no matter which emotions came up for me, and constantly kept my goal in sight. And…it worked! Here are the steps that helped me to correctly communicate my feelings, hear the other person out, and remember that in the end we are all humans trying our best :)
1. DO NOT react- in fact, shut your trap and don't talk at all.
2. Let the other person speak…you're still not supposed to be talking here. That includes thinking of rebuttals in your head. Listen up buttercup.
3. Recognize what the other person has said- that can include repeating back to them what they just shared with you, or better yet, tell them you understand their point(s) and can see where they are coming from!
4. Next (this is a biggie) ask engaging questions- really try to get to the root of what the other person needs. Here are some examples: "How can I support you in that? , "Are you ok?" , "What do you need?"
5. As the other person responds, LISTEN, yes, again, I'm sorry, I know it is hard.
6. At this point hopefully you are seeing where the other person is coming from. If at any point the convo isn't going smoothly- request another time to chat; nothing gets done when either person is heated.
7. Confirm/deny the ways in which you will be able to help the other person based on their request(s). Confirm that this resolution is ok with the other person.
8. Yours and my favorite part- ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED! YAYA TIME TO TALK! And don't be ridiculous, I too want a castle and a moot but we just can't have it all folks.
9. Ask the other person if they think they can help to fulfill any of these needs and how.
10. AGREEMENT! HUG, KISS, SHAKE HANDS- give a little physical contact to seal the deal peeps- nothing wrong with showing some love :)

Yes these 10 steps may sound easy and like their success only exists in a fairy tale world with a castle and a moot, but if you try and practice, practice, practice, I bet they will start to work for you. Granted, this is not going to work every time and we aren't perfect. Striving for perfection sucks (trust me) so let it go. But actively practicing more effective communication to help others as well as yourself, all while realizing that we are all humans and the people we surround ourselves love us and  have our best interests at heart 99.999% of the time…can make your life that much more peaceful, at least it did for me :)

Until the next NYR- inspire some change in your own resolutions/goals/life!
- xoxo AA

1.22.14: NY Resolution Help, Already!

Hello everyone! Happy 2014- I hope that you've had a glorious entrance into what I feel as though is going to be one of the greatest years. Like me, many of you similar goal oriented and organization junkies also wrote a pretty neat little list of your resolutions. Mine are all close to my heart and goals that I would truly like to continue to fulfill beyond 2014. The first 2 weeks went great, I really got into a groove and felt like I was crushing them. Fast forward to now, 22 days in, and I feel as though a few might be slipping through the cracks. I received some wonderful advice the other day that I am certain will be applicable in helping me keep my NY resolutions, goals, and even checking off that damn to-do list. That is: Inspire Change. If you notice habits that are keeping you from your resolutions or goals- recognize them, work to fix them, and inspire change. In effort to hold myself accountable I am going to share my NY resolutions with you (getting personal, yes, I know), write whenever I may be struggling with one, and share how I was able to (hopefully) inspire some change and make these babies last well beyond 2014! Wish me luck!

2014 NY Resolutions- to Infinity and Beyond:
1. Do not make friends/family enemies during conflict- this may seem like an odd one, but many times I have found that during conflict or a disagreement, I tend to make the other person out to be my enemy in order to protect myself or even to win the battle. This of course never gets me anywhere, is not a showing of leading by example, and in the end just isn't plain true. The people we chose to have in our lives nearly always have our best interests at heart, and like us, are just humans trying their hardest in this life. I am confident that coming to terms with and continuing to accept this will help me to truly understand myself and others better - enabling me to communicate even more effectively.
2. Incorporate yoga practice into daily life- this sound easy, but is sometimes impossible for me! Yoga has proven itself to be one of the best things for my body, focus, inspiration, heart, and soul. It is just the "showing up" part that I sometimes struggle with. No matter what class, most times I struggle to get there- but always leave feeling glorious. Each time on the mat is a completely different experience- and whether it is my worst or best class I learn a hell of a lot about focus, strength, and trusting my body. This one has got to happen this year- it's time to make my boutique yoga studio membership work for me this year!!
3. Go to the beach at least once a week- I am fairly certain that my friends and family at home are cringing at this one. But seriously people- I live in freaking San Diego, it shouldn't be difficult to find time to go to the beach! This goal is not geared towards tanning (GTL?), beach volley ball (yeah right) or swimming (not happening). This goal is simply to enjoy the beautiful surroundings I am lucky enough to live in. This goal, similar to yoga, is not about the social aspect, but rather the therapeutic effects just listening to the waves roll in, or having my bare feet touch the sand can have on the mind/body/soul. A 5 minute walk a day would be a ideal- just to smell the sea air and take in the simple natural beauty that I sometimes seem to completely forget about, walk past, or even take for granted.
4. Open a freaking business- I have at least 4 sticky notes saved that I've created over the years that say "Create a business by 26." Great news people- my birthday 26th birthday is in 37 days- it is time to get my buns in gear. There are definitely things in motion and work going on behind the scenes, but establishing an LLC by my birthday would force me to finally take a leap of faith on my ideas, invest in my passion, and take a step towards helping others.
5. Experience our Country- now that I have taken a year to settle down in my new home in SD- it is time to see the rest of the country! Don't worry, trips to Europe are in the 2 year plan, however, there are so many wonderful places in our own country that I still have not seen and most definitely want to explore. Not just the whole flight, hotel, dinner deal- but truly experiencing the culture of these cities. I am talking weather, history, microbreweries (gluten for this gal!), theaters, hole-in-the-wall restaurants, and people. One trip is on the books for Chicago- I am so excited but also hoping I don't freeze my ass off. Seattle and northern California are also on the list…and dare I adventure to say Hawaii?! ;)

OK that's all for now- I will be writing again shortly because as you can tell from my intro, I have already hit some roadblocks- nothing this Big Girl in the Healthy City can't tackle :)
- xoxo AA