Listen Up

Why is listening so hard for some of us? Though it has been something I have been personally working on in 2012 (a resolution in fact) and though working in sales has definitely made me a better listener, I still find that I struggle with it. I am writing this post as a means to maybe help myself figure it out, and in the process if you do too, then awesome. But it even starts there- maybe the person who I want to read this most won't even be 'listening' to my writing. This is certainly not directed at one person, but sometimes the people we want to listen the most just won't shut the F up. I myself landed in a pickle of the sorts this week. When I hear a problem I immediately start strategizing ways to fix it.  I consider myself an active listener- I share my honest thoughts on solutions and next steps when the person is done talking. Isn't that what everyone wants to hear? Apparently not. Here's what I am saying- if you are not ready to hear someone's perception of the truth then you probably shouldn't ask. And if you are, well then you don't need to ask me because I am most likely already trying to solve the problem ;) Come to think of it, how am I even genuinely listening if all I can think of the entire time is my response? And why is it so hard for many of us (really hope I'm not alone on this one) to just hear someone out and not respond? Is it that we feel the need to contribute to the conversation in order to prove to the other person that we were in fact listening (tell tale trick in college, response equals recognition). Or is it that we are responding to someone else's dilemmas in an effort to figure out our own? Either way- I learned something this week. First of all- an apology. For any of your reading this- if you've ever wanted me to listen and I just wouldn't shut up...I am sorry (please know it is always out of love). Secondly, I am still trying to come to a better understanding of true friendship. Most of my friends tell me they respect honesty and want the truth. So what is it then- do we want to hear the truth or do we want to hear what will make us feel better? If those 2 are 1 in the same; great! If not; trouble. Finally after all of this I am just realizing that moral support does not only come in the form of words, but in the form of silence. There are many times in life I now realize that silence can sometimes be the most calming through the storm. Plans to clean up the mess later can always wait but it seems as though a sense of peace and tranquility is 1st needed by many (myself include) before we can pick up and try to figure it all out again. In the end, this reminds me of my relationship (and many people's relationships) with God or whatever higher power you believe in. In my faith, God is always there to listen- but I notice how He does not talk back, or immediately at least. It's like He is always there to listen and responds only when He knows I am ready to hear what He has to say. That is definitely something I am going to strive towards- because for some reason the answers always seem to come that way- regardless of the approach :)
xoxo
AA