Manly Hood

The male species continually surprises me and never seizes to amaze me. I know I have written a post here or there in the past about my beliefs on the struggle for manly hood. More recently, I have gotten a glimpse into men who are going through what will most likely be some of the most difficult moments in their lives and how they have reacted. From just my own experience, it seems as though the older the man the more difficult the experience seems to be for them to endure. Part of me believes that has something to do with some sort of generation gap- a sort of upbringing in the 60s in a household with parents whom did not promote the discussion of feelings or recognition of them at all. Think Betty Draper parenting style al-la Mad Men. With younger men, I have started to see the amazing and sometimes unimaginable strength they have to make it through something no matter what. The difference here I think is the community of other men they have surrounded themselves with for support. A community of extremely mentally sound and hard working young men who know what they want and know they can and will go after it together and accomplish it as a team. I am so impressed by this positive mental attitude that I think we ladies (I am really speaking for myself here and anyone else who feels like this speaks to them) could learn a little something from here. Sometimes, actually many times in life, we are going to have to endure situations that are less than favorable. Whether they be emotionally or physically taxing, we know before they come that they are eminent and will most likely suck. But if we know it is a means to an end, and just except that it is actually going to ‘suck’ for a certain period of time- we are more able to get through it, move past it, and hopefully learn even more from it. I think for these extraordinary men I am describing here it is more of a matter of perception. For example, my brother has been at boot camp for about 65 days now. His letters have gone from “I am having a really tough time adjusting” in the very beginning to “I am have an awesome time here and am making some great friends” in his most recent letter. Last I checked, boot camp is rarely described as “fun” but this young man has changed his attitude so much so that he is actually enjoying himself. So if  you are one of those men out there and are reading this- and you know who you are (because I want to remain completely discreet)- I just want to say thank you so much for being who you are- for being great to those I love and for continuing to move forward. You are an inspiration to all of us, even in the small obstacles of our lives- you set an example for accepting nothing less than strong community and greatness J

xoxo AA

Break Free

Hello everyone! You all know I have been devoting the majority of my summer to my brother’s photo blog (if you haven’t already checked it out- please head to aalimo29.tumblr.com and share for his support!) as well as hand writing him on a daily basis. And I have been lucky to be spending a lot of quality with my man in uniform before he too heads out for training in October. Once my brother returns in September and my man departs soon thereafter I will have PLENTY more time for writing and I am sure I will have a wide array of thoughts to share J

But in the spirit of getting back into the swing of things I wanted to share something with you all today. Besides the things I mentioned above, this summer has been a bit of a personal journey for me as well. When the things around us seem to be changing at lightening speed and without our control, it can sometimes be difficult to find the beauty in the break down. I’d like to say- in typical form, I took this as an opportunity. So this summer I have been grateful enough to stumble upon the project of personal and interpersonal emotional communicative discovery. Making it my every effort to not only have a better understanding of my emotions and the emotions of others but also how to better communicate and LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

It is now mid-August and I can finally say that I am starting to see some of the hard work pay off. Hence the ‘break free.’ In both the work and personal arenas this week instead of going on the defensive, reacting, or becoming emotional, I took a step back. In trying to understand where some of my missteps originate from, I have become better able to realize that is the case for most of us. Our actions generally reaction a place we are coming from inside, whether that be a happy memory or a tough remembrance. And for the 1^st time, instead of acting how I normally would when presented with a tough situation or could-be altercation- I broke free. After years of habit, I realized I am strong enough, I am smart enough, I have enough good in me to turn the needle, to change my communication style and form better, more long lasting, and fulfilling relationships with those around me. There are a few things to note here and the reasons as to why I am sharing this fairly personal tidbit with you. 1. Work on yourself- it is tough, scary, emotional, and not fun. But you deserve it, you deserve to be the best YOU there is and YOU are worth it. 2. You can break free. You can break free from years of being taught and habitually miscommunicating or relaying information and start a new. A new that those around you will set as precedent of how they deserve to be treated by you and how you expect to be treated. Big discussion pieces I know, but this BIG GIRL IN THE CITY (as many of my man’s friends teasingly refer to my blog as ;)- miss you guys!!) is growing up and learning how to figure this big world and sometimes small city life. And I could not have come close to this realization if it wasn’t for the supportive, loving, patience, caring, and kind people I feel more lucky everyday to be surrounded by- so thank you J

Xoxo AA